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roastedpeanutts
135 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupTeen Last activeMarch, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 26, 2024
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Portugal

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is this really the right option?
Self-Harm Recovery / by roastedpeanutts
Last post
 March 5th, 2024
...See more hi so, i want to start this by clarifying that im not fluent in english, so sorry if i had any grammatical mistake i have never been connected with SH, the only thing i remember once was, when i was 9 years old, i deliberately skinned myself and punched the wall several times until my hand turned red, but these days, it's been hard. i never thought that hurting myself was an option, i never saw such a thing as an escape, something with meaning, or that it made sense to be "addictive", i couldn't understand that, until now. i have realized that it is something that can really help you; in the first 5 minutes, because then you'll look at what you did and say "i really didn't have any other way to ease my pain?" and that sucks. especially the times you blame yourself. and unfortunately, i have experienced exactly like that these days. i really didn't expect this to ever happen to me, or for me to get to this point. i was disappointed with myself, feeling weak. not thinking about those awful things that happen to me, but how would I explain myself to someone if that became visible, how would i be judged by others (and i was), how i would be nicknamed by "the depressed girl" in my class, how could i defend myself from that, which cat im gonna blame? but unfortunately, it's much deeper than that. it wasn't just a wound, a cut, a burn, or any other injury. it was a mark of struggle, a cry for help, a mark of what ive been through, before any type of injury. i have seen SH as a way out, relief, etc. But sometimes we have to understand that to get out of rock bottom, we have to make effort, a lot of it. find new things, new hobbies, different ways to relieve pain, a source of entertainment, socializing, talking to yourself, and if possible, questioning, "how hurting myself will help? dont really i have other escapes?" the answer is: yes. a lot of them, much more than those i mentioned. dont forget, there are more people in the world, with similar problems, similar thoughts, similar fears, etc. you are not alone. you ate not, i am not, we are not. there are more options than u think. there are much more help than you imagine. do not hesitate. i can recover. you can recover, we can recover. even when you are lost, and you don't think so, but YOU. CAN. there are thousands of thousands of people who have gone through the same thing, who are going through it. and that they will recover or have even already recovered. i repeat it, you are not alone.
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