rollingthunder Member Profile

Feeling Defeated

35 & Over Community / by rollingthunder

October 24th, 2022

...See more I’m 40 and have rented since I was 24. For the past 7 years almost, I’ve rented from my sister. When we first moved, the intention was to do a rent to own, but they could never decide what they wanted to do. We were comfortable here, but now with a preschooler we just want to be close to town and family and what not. We’ll never have the option to own this place. An opportunity arose that was absolutely perfect. Next door to my parents, in town, close to school, neighbors I grew up with, great yard, etc. The owner was burned previously by the people and so he wasn’t sure if he’d sell or rent. I spoke with him for the past few weeks, as he was always outside cleaning up and when I’d visit my parents I’d visit and chat with him about the house. One day he decided he would owner finance to us but he needed some time. i Prayed on it, decided to leave it in God’s hands. I wanted so badly to just be optimistic and gave faith and just let it be. I got my hopes up though and today he called saying he decided to let his daughter have it and she was gonna rent it for way too much. Even he admitted it was way too much, but I guess he just didn’t want to mess with it and his daughter had been hounding him for it. To say I’m disappointed is an understatement. I’ve been so upset all day because of it. I truly felt this was the opportunity we needed to get out of here. I had so much faith it would work out and my hopes were so high and now I feel completely defeated. We can’t buy outright and we won’t dare move to just rent again. It really was a perfect opportunity, and now, I just feel like what’s the point of even trying anymore. evert time we try to do something positive we’re left defeated. I am having such a huge loss of faith lately due to a lot of other things, and I’m burnt out and just down and out and want to be happy and be like something else will come along but honestly I don’t want anything else anymore. I feel like giving up and being like screw it life just seems to want us stuck in this position forever. I initially didn’t even want to try for this place but kept getting pushed and now I feel like I should have never bothered. My mom and spouse were both upset and kind of blamed the man but I don’t have the heart to be upset at them. They’re business people and from the beginning the daughter sounded pretty greedy. The man was very nice, but of course, you’ll do anything for your kids and this is what he’s doing for her, I get it. I can’t be mad at that, but I can’t help but be really upset. I guess I’m venting, but also, how do I just let it go? How can I change my mindset of being down about the loss and seeing the bright side I guess?

I'm Panicking!

Anxiety Support / by rollingthunder

July 28th, 2017

...See more So, two years ago, my partner and I decided to move back home closer to family. We were slowly looking for places until we found somewhere affordable to rent, which was taking a while. Then, my sister asked if we would be interested in renting from her, as they were moving and didn't really want anyone else in their old house. It was a good opportunity. It was family, and they'd be getting us home like they all had been asking for. So we agreed. Rent would be the same and it would help us out plus help them with the new mortgage. Well, I have always had this cloud hanging over that one day they will get tired of paying double property tax and insurance for the old and new home and would sell and leave us homeless, but I kind of pushed it to the back of my mind. Lately though, I've seriously been stressed out and panicking, because they have been stuggling financially. When they built the new house, they did so based on the fact that they were making a whole lot of money in overtime and bonuses at that time when the bank approved them, so their thought was they could afford a big monthly mortgage plus the rent we woudl be paying...they factored all that into their monthly payment. However, soon after construction started, things went downhill and there were smaller bonuses and no overtime. Now, two years later, they are struggling because financially they don't make as much and are stuck with expensive vehicle and house and now credit debt due to things that had to be purchesed during the construction. They have children in activites, one graduating in a two years, vehicle needs, etc. Her husband suffers from mental health issues, and although, she tries to live within their means, he likes to live above it, so they have a hard time financially. Well, in talking she mentioned how he was worried if anything ever happened to his job and his anxiety and OCD kicked in and she said she told him not to worry because if worst came to worse, they would sell the house and move back to the old house (the one we rent now). So she is telling this to me, who also suffers from anxiety/panic/OCD, and now I'm frickin' livid and can't stop thinking we need to pack and move ASAP! I know his job itself is probably secure, but the industry isn't. My mind has me going 300 mph and has us living in the streets homeless now. I don't think she believes they would ever have to do that, but it was her just trying to calm him but now I'm so super stressed out. I of course won't tell her this, as she doesn't need two maniacs all paranoid. I hate when I stress like this, as now I can't enjoy just being in this house when I loved it. We had plans to buy it one day and take it off their hands, which was the original thought they had, but now they are also stressed financially, so I guess they are saving this house as a backup. I understand it is theirs to do what they will, but at the same time I wish they had thought this through so we could have moved somewhere else in the beginning. Now I'm so stressed over something that may or may never happen and I need someone to slap me silly and say it's going to be fine because I'm going to give myself a coronary right now!

Should I Be More Encouraging?

Relationship Stress / by rollingthunder

June 8th, 2017

...See more So my SO had been out of work for years while he was going through some things. It really messed us up financially. Almost a year ago, he became gainfully employed. We are still struggling financially, but we can now pay bills on time at least. It was a stressful job from the beginning even though he got to work from home. They are super strict and the past few months he has been super super stressed out to the point of being physically ill. I'd love for him to quit, as I am so tired of hearing him complain and gripe and yell all day. I too work from home, so I have to hear all that. As I age, the less negativity and issues I want to put up with. I'd rather him work a minimum wage job he is okay with but doesn't hate than work a good paying job that he absolutely hates. I feel bad for thinking this, because I wanted him so badly to start working. I worked for so long multiple jobs pushing every day regardless of the level of stress to make sure we got by. I needed him to work to give me some relief, but now, I feel like I still don't have that relief, as I don't know if he just may up and quit one day with no notice leaving us back to broke again. I'd love for him to put his two weeks and look for something but not just up and quit like that you know. I feel so bad that he has to deal with this job and I encourage him to just put in notice, but I'm also afraid he will just quit without notice like he usually does and that leaves us in a super big bid. I don't have the patience I used to to deal with these things. Sometimes I ignore him while he gripes and sometimes I want to yell, "Just shut up already and either quit or deal with it!" What kind of upsets me is he doesn't get that his negative energy rubs off on me. I can be having a great day and then suddenly he is yelling (not at me) and shouting and cussing up a storm because something isn't working or he can't get help from higher ups or whatever. I know it is frustrating to have a job like that, but it's taking a toll on both our health because it flares up my panic and anxiety attacks as well. I feel bad. Should I just be more encouraing or am I in the right to feel how I do? Maybe I'm the one who needs to just be grateful he is working, which I am, but it doesn't seem worth it sometimes. Thanks!

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