sadsunset Member Profile

...See more Wow, after reading some of the other posts on this thread, I feel silly for feeling so affected by what happened to me. I feel as though I still need to get this off of my chest right now anyways, I can't hold it in any longer. For the last year, there was this guy that I had been on a few dates with, and had slept with twice. This guy was the best friend of my best friends boyfriend, if that makes sense. Anyways, after my best friend and her boyfriend had broken up, she decided that we should go to one of our friends' party. After I had a few drinks, she had said that we should go over to this guys house to hang out because she knew I had liked him and she wanted to make her now ex boyfriend jealous. On our way there she began to speak about how horny she was. i told her that if she were to do anything with him I would be really upset with her. As we arrived, she began to flirt with him and touch him. I texted her from across the room about how uncomfortable I was and how I just wanted to leave. She ignored me, and began to bring up the idea of a threesome to him. I didnt want to so I once again texted her and told her that I didnt want to. I was ignored again. That's when she kissed him right in front of me, and proceeded to call another one of his ex boyfriends friends to come over. She began to say that we could all have 'fun', regardless of knowing that I wasn't into it. When the other friend finally arrived, they all began to take their clothes off. She told me it would be fine, and that I shouldnt be so stuck up, so I took mine off too. I just layed there lifeless under this guy, silently crying, while my friend was having the time of her life. He didn't even ask if I wanted to. I couldnt even speak. I couldnt move. I couldnt breathe. He asked if I liked it and I said no. It hurt so bad, but i knew they would just all talk shit about me if I ran out of there. My friend would be especially mad at me, and that was the last thing I wanted. The next day I was at the same friends house, and i was in the shower.I felt so disgusted and I had no idea why. When I got out and told her that I felt awful about what happened and she just laughed. I couldn't look at her after that. I couldnt even look at myself. Everything felt so wrong. It wasn't until I confided in a friend about what happened, that I understood what really happened and the severity of it. It's been about a month and its only gotten worse. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I still feel his breath lingering, and her laugh and I start to cry when people touch me and everything is just a mess and I dont know how to stop it. Everytime I saw my friend I would have flashbacks to what happened and just start crying. I stopped being friends with this girl and told her why, but she just told me i was overreacting. It made me feel like I was going crazy. She told all of our mutual friends that it I was being petty over some boy drama. They ignored me for weeks, until I finally told one of them the truth. She confronted my friend about it, and asked her for the truth. When she recieved another lie, she called her out for it. This angered my friend, and now she told everybody what actually happened. I am so humiliated, I havent been to school for 2 days. Everybody keeps treating me like i am a piece of glass, they aren't treating me like they used to and I hate it. I know I shouldn't even be complaining or ranting about this, because I still dont even know how to classify what happened to me, and I know there are people who had it way worse than me, and I really shouldn't be complaining, but the anxiety this whole situation has given me is the worst I've ever had. Sometimes just thinking about it results in a full blown panic attack, and I don't know what to do anymore. If you've read this far than thank you.

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