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salamanderarmy
100 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2016 Member sinceFebruary 2, 2016
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Why is it always me?
Trauma Support / by salamanderarmy
Last post
 February 3rd, 2016
...See more This is my first post here, so please be gentle. I grew up being hurt my father from the age of little on up until after my freshman year of college. I was also sold to his friends, limp blls disappearing into the deep pockets of my father's pants. It was painful, sometimes terrifying, often shameful, but ti's been over for a long time and all I am left with is the ghosts. Last night I went running in town after dark like I've done a hundred times in the past. This time it was diferent. This time there was a man and a knife and strong hands and arms and the weapon that all men are given. i don't know what happened (yay dissication) but I know I came back with my pants around my knees and soaking wet on the melting snow and I know he'd been inside of me. I just;;.... after everything.... why me? why me again? again a gain agaiin? is this myy punishment for trying to gethelp? is this my punishment for sharing with my therapist, with group? nomatter where i go, i bring taint. everywhere i go there is an invisible target on my back that only predators can see.
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