scarlettApple2731 Member Profile

...See more i’ve been struggling a lot lately seeing a point in life and finding joy in things i used to love and excel at. it’s tough because no one in my life right now understands what i’m feeling and how my mind isn’t normal. i haven’t been able to get up in the morning because i frankly don’t see a reason anything could be more important then sleep. i go to school late everyday and just want to cry every second because of how my thoughts are raging and telling me i’m not enough and i’m a burden to my friends. i have people that care about me and a wonderful girlfriend but i just can’t fake a smile all the time all i want to do is be alone. i’m so behind in school and it’s my junior year and i’m afraid for the future. my grades are struggling and i don’t know how to do any of the assignments. in group work i just want to cry because my friends think i’m useless. i’m sure they wouldn’t admit it but i know it’s not fun to have to do everything yourself. i don’t see why we have to work our whole lives like what are we working towards we just die in the end anyway. school to work to old age and losing loved ones just for death in the end. i’ve tried to communicate to my family why i’m struggling so much but it just sounds insane. i’m not going to get into college and there’s nothing i can do anymore. i’m always grounded for my grades and i just can’t fix then there’s too much. but it’s my fault i don’t even pay attention and can’t be bothered to do tutoring. i’ve tried to talk about it but i just don’t have anyone to go to. my therapist isn’t even a good place to go because if she thinks my parents need to know something she’ll tell them. and i can’t trauma dump to my friends but i want them to get why i’m not the same i used to be. i wish i could keep faking it but it’s too hard. i don’t know what to do or if anyone can understand the feeling it’s just so empty and alone.

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