Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
secretWheel7381
1 125 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2021 Member sinceJuly 15, 2021
Bio
Recent forum posts
secretWheel7381 profile picture
Here’s a juicy one. PLZ HELP!! :))
Relationship Stress / by secretWheel7381
Last post
 July 15th, 2021
...See more Here’s some back story before it gets juicy. I am currently 20 years old and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for exactly 2 years and 8 months. It’s starting to get more and more serious by the day… promise ring for Xmas… moving in together next month. And I am happy. Now bear with me, subject change. When I was 14 or 15 I met this really good friend of my cousins he was older 17 turning 18. When we met it was like instant connection and we totally hit it off. We eventually were dating but my mom didn’t approve (Bc he was 18 and I wasn’t 16) so I had to break things off. We kept talking and kept hanging out everytime I was at my cousins HE WAS THERE. I was at my cousins almost all summer (that’s how it went sense I was like 8) he was my first bj.. my first make out and my second kiss. But we had to sneak around. But we eventually ended things Bc he was 18 and wanted to pursue the military. Well he didn’t go. So about a year or 2 later we tried again. And I was a lil hoe and talked to him and his cousin at the same time. He got over it a month later and we started talking again but this time it wasn’t as serious Bc he was hesitant.. well I f**led it up again. And then we didn’t talk for a couple years until last year. Like I said he’s good friends with my family so he came on vacation with us. Well this is the time first time I had gone on said family vaca in a few years I hadn’t seen him sense the last fight we had so I apologized and we went about the trip (mind you I was in my current relationship at this point so nothing happened besides some flirting) I got so confused with my emotions that I actually took a break with my boyfriend to figure how I felt about this guy. When I got back from my trip I fixed things with my boyfriend and went about my day but I couldnt help but think about my summer ex for the next couple months. Fast forward to a couple weeks ago I went to a family party and he was there. I found myself trying to mother and take care of summer ex when he got intoxicated even though my bf was there. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him sense. About all our memories and what we could have been. About our firsts about how I hurt him and how I was young and dumb. We have another family vaca coming up in about 3 weeks and I dont even want to face him Bc I can’t stop my mind from roaming. But at the same time I’m overly excited to see him. I find myself thinking about being with him and not my bf and I feel so guilty. I think about his family and my relationship with them and it makes me sick that I even thought about leaving my bf. But I make myself sick thinking about what me and summer ex could have been. HELP ME PLZ. I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to go back to my old habits and talk to summer ex but part of me is so happy with where my relationship is going and I’d be heartbroken to ruin my relationship with his family. But summer ex was my first love… and I think I still love him.
Search more from @secretWheel7381
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
6 total badges
Hand Shake Linked First Post Reaching out First Compassion Forum Friend
Report an issue