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selfconfidentSky2527
1,302 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 344 Compassion hearts29 Forum posts67 Forum upvotes40 Current upvotes40 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2019 Member sinceSeptember 15, 2016
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Feeling Hopeless
Depression Support / by selfconfidentSky2527
Last post
 August 9th, 2019
...See more I've been dealing with my depression for years now. Dysthymia is what they told me. Environmental meaning if I improve my life and my situation I should be getting better. I worked retail at a target for 11 years. In March of this year I got a new job. Better pay. The job is easier than target easily. But ive been missing because of my depression. Which in turn started a cycle i cant seem to break on top of the realization that even though my job is better i still dont like it. Im worried that im going to get myself fired. Ive tried job hunting online but everything either seems awful based on reviews, step backwards like going back to retail which i refuse to do based on how miserable i was, or im simply not qualified. Any dream job i can think of seems like a fantasy. I don't know what im doing and the inevitability of everything ending badly for me seems soul crushing. Is it so wrong to want a job that ill actually feel happy at.
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Having a hard time.
Depression Support / by selfconfidentSky2527
Last post
 October 11th, 2018
...See more I feel like all the progress I've made dealing with my depression is failing. I have trouble sleeping, I'm making poor decisions health wise, I feel incredibly lonely even with my friends, and I can't talk to anyone in my life about how bad I feel. I just hold it all inside and it hurts so much to feel this bad all the time. I miss work because I just can't get out of bed and face the world and nobody gets it. Thinking about going out and doing anything exhausts me. I feel so very lost.
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Trying to change things.
Depression Support / by selfconfidentSky2527
Last post
 July 14th, 2017
...See more I'm 30 years old, male, and I have dsythymia. My life isn't in a great place, two therapist were convinced that my depression is caused by environmental factors. So I'm trying to turn things around. It's going to take a long time and a lot of work. I'm currently and very slowly putting together a resume. It's very hard for me. I don't think I look good on paper. I know partly it's my depression talking. My friends tell me kids fresh out of high school sometimes get hired for way better jobs than working in retail like me. So I'm trying to get out. Depression makes this difficult though. My friends don't understand this. A resume is selling yourself, you're good points. With my self esteem issues, this is a lot self reflection and battling my depression so I can start my resume. I can only do a little bit at a time. That little voice in my head tells me to give up, that I'm wasting my time. I want to go into banking or become an office assistant. Something that will make me feel like an actual adult. Something that can afford an actual lifestyle. Maybe something that I can be proud of.
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My day today
Depression Support / by selfconfidentSky2527
Last post
 June 6th, 2017
...See more I'm a 30 years old. I live at home with my family still and I've been battling with depression, six or eight years now. That's just a quick general. Not what I'm posting about. Today a friend who was running a d&d game as the dm. Well she cancelled. She said she just didn't feel prepared enough. I've dmed before and I was terribly nervous and I wanted to cancel and she talked me out of it. I'm also in love with her though she doesn't know. I can't tell her that as she is dating a good friend. The point is I wanted to inspire her, be the white knight so to speak. It was hard to except it. That nothing I said took away her anxiety the way she had helped me. I know it's not fair to her or me to put that pressure or responsibility on myself. She wasn't asking for help. She told me she was stressed. I said I would help in any way I could if she needed me. That was it. I'm just sulking I guess while I don't feel bad, I want her or any DM to have fun with the game, I felt bad because I really look forward to the game.
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