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selfdisciplinedKiwi308
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2022 Member sinceFebruary 17, 2022
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just broke up with my boyfriend
Relationship Stress / by selfdisciplinedKiwi308
Last post
 February 23rd, 2022
...See more I recently broke up with my boyfriend and I keep thinking where or not I made the right decision or if I should have stayed. I (22) am currently working full time and my (ex?) bf (26) is currently still in school. He's still in school due to personal reasons and because he is an international student, so he was unable to study in the US when Covid started for 2 years. During our relationship, I felt really safe and it truly made me happy, but whenever we had arguments, it was really difficult to take things through due to not really understanding how each other thinks and how different we are. For example, we had many fights about financials because he would always pay for things like food, but would never let me pay, even though I have a stable income and he does not. It would get to the point where he would explode in frustration because he didnt have money, which could have been avoided if he let me pay. Another thing was that he has an extreme dependency on nicotine (vapes/cigarettes) and weed, which made me upset because I saw how negatively it would affect his studies. In our most recent argument (on valentine's day) he claimed that the reason why he was struggling with school was because of how i suffer from depression and he's always worried about me, so he would always come over to my place to comfort me instead of studying. I have never asked him to do this for me and have told him that when I tell him i'm sad, I just want to talk to him for comfort and words of encouragement. Although his intentions are good, I felt burdened in the way that he worded things, which now I am thinking that I took it too personally and should have been more understanding of our cultural differences/language barrier. I am also feeling like I shouldn't have broken up with him so soon and gave him a chance to prove himself, but on the other hand, I didn't want to keep waiting on the potential of him changing because what if it never happens? I struggle a lot with mental health and I often feel a lot of guilt for the decisions I make. Did I make the right decision? My friends said I did because I am considering myself and I should put myself first, but I don't know... I'm very confused and guilty because I still care a lot about him.
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