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selfdisciplinedSpring5651
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2026 Member sinceNovember 2, 2026
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Distance with My Half Sister/Advice
Relationship Stress / by selfdisciplinedSpring5651
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more Hello. I just need some perspective, someone to listen, and someone to answer some questions I have. I grew up an only child in a smalltown in GA, born in Miami, but my parents divorced when I was very young. Grew up near my mom's grandparents place. My father died when I was six, barely remember him from his few visits. When I was 13 I found out that I had a half sister through him, she was ten yrs older than me, he had been married before. My family had no way of contacting her or vice versa, I thought I would probably never meet or see her. I spent my life wondering about her though, how she looked what she became. My mother did find an old photo of her as a very young girl with blonde hair, that was my only likeness of her. I eventually put it our of my mind, and closed the door to my father's side and her. By 2019, I was 43 yrs old married, had a career, and one summer I happened to get a *** message. It was from a woman asking if I was her half brother, she knew my father's name and when he died. Even though she was an adult, I could tell by her *** profile pic that this was the same little girl from the photo I had, and I knew her first name. We messaged and talked until late in the night. She grew being the ONLY person in her family with our father's last name and so did I. Both of us knew very little about him. She was 53 at this point, and she was a very beautiful woman, more than I had imagined. She was divorced with two young adult children, still living in the Miami area. I learned she had two other half brothers close to my age through her mom. One lived close to me, the other in California. She said she would be visiting the GA one at Christmas and we could meet. I was so excited We remained in contact the next few months. Phone, texting, etc. By Christmas, she said she wasnt able to come, I was disappointed. She came in January. I went by to pick her up at this other half brother's home, she came out with her bags and after hugging and meeting her, she explained I would be dropping her off at the airport. I was disappointed, this was my first time meeting her and I had hoped we would have more time together, we stopped and ate somewhere, talked, and then I had to drop her off. Then Covid hit. We still spoke on the phone, still texted over the next year. By 2021, I decided to visit her, I spent a day or two visiting and returned. I barely met her kids, my niece and nephew, she didn't really try to get us together or anything. For the next five yrs we had a similar relationship of texting, phone etc. By 2026, she had never made any attempt to visit me here in GA. I finally decided if I don't visit her, I will never see her. So my wife and I visited her in south Florida on Valentines Day weekend. We spent the first day with her and then the second we went to Flamingo Gardens, after that we were supposed to go to dinner. Before dinner, she told us, I think want to go home and lie down, and then we will go to dinner. I instantly felt there would be no dinner in the back of my mind, I became depressed. My wife and I returned to our hotel. I eventually texted my sister and got no response. Finally I texted her and told her my wife and I would just eat at the hotel, to not worry about it. I instantly received a reply. I told her I had a feeling she didnt want dinner earlier, and she responded with "K." I became very depressed, I sat with my poor wife in the hotel bar drinking hard drinks, because I was so upset, I knew I would not sleep. We eventually dinner and went to bed. I woke at 3 AM. I was done, I just wanted to get out of there. We left, I didn't speak on the drive for hours, my wife kept asking what was wrong and I finally vented it to her. Months later, that summer I tried again. We made a vacation to Ford Lauderdale, met my sister at the Wreck Bar, had a good time. The next day I spent part of the day just the two of us as she took me around the area, my wife hung out with her sister he had made the trip with us. The third night I asked my sister if she'd join us for dinner, she declined. I couldn't believe she didn't want to see me since we'd be leaving the next day, we didn't really say goodbye the day before. I became depressed again. After returning home, I withdrew from her. I didn't call or text her for about two months. She finally sent me a text and even called me and talked for a long time. Halloween night, I'm sitting with my wife watching horror movies having a good time, I pull up *** on my phone and see my sister has attended a Halloween Party. Then I realize its in New Mexico at her other half brother's place. I became upset. Looking back at her *** I noticed she went out to see him back in 2021, and again in 2022, and now Halloween 2026. She has never come up to visit me even though I am just above her in GA. In fact in the summer of 2021, she came to GA after I had visited her, visited the other half brother who lives less than an hour from me, but never told me she was there. I know these other half brothers are ones she has known since they were born, but now I realize I am just an after thought to her. I had hoped I had found an actual sister, but it appears one sided. I've gotten her gifts, for birthdays, holidays, tried to acknowledge her kids, but I've gotten nothing in return. I mean yes she has sent me gifts too over the years, but I want to see her, experience things with her, and she seems very limited in that. It hurts. I spent my whole life an only child, and I thought I had a sister, like a new door had opened, and I would have a niece and nephew. None of that turned out like I had suspected. I feel like I have never had the chance to really learn who my sister is or spend in any real time with her. I feel like the occasional text, phone call, and social media like, is all it will ever be. Am I correct? Am I reading this correctly about her, or reading too deep?
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