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sensibleZebra5148
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2025 Member sinceNovember 23, 2025
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Relationship Stress / by sensibleZebra5148
Last post
 November 23rd, 2025
...See more I recently broke up with my boyfriend after almost five years together. He cheated on me. But honestly, the problems started much earlier. When we had been together for about two years, I was diagnosed with mixed anxiety and depression. Around that time, my dog passed away, I was being bullied at university, and there was a professor who treated me terribly in a class I hated and didn’t understand. I was already feeling really horrible. My boyfriend and I decided to take a break for a couple of months, and then we got back together. That’s when one of the biggest problems in the relationship started: his friends. When we broke up, they decided to throw him a “celebration” party basically because he was single again and could “spend more time with them doing crazy things.” I felt awful because all my friends liked him, but I didn’t even know his friends and they already disliked me. There were four of them who were especially important. Alex laughed and celebrated because her mentality is “love is *** and I’m happy you guys broke up.” Verónica, who studies fashion, said “ah, good,” and didn’t care at all. Camila, the psychology student, just ignored anything that had to do with me. And Foca, the rich one, was simply happy it happened. My boyfriend excused all of their behavior by saying things like “oh, I forget to talk about our relationship in a good way.” And ever since then, for about three years, I carried a constant distrust toward them. Fast forward to recently: we’d been having the same recurring problem of him ignoring my messages. One Friday, I had plans to go out with my friends, and he had promised—an entire week in advance—to pick me up at the Bogotá Botanical Garden. But he forgot. I waited two hours with no reply, and I ended up having to go alone to a mutual friend’s party. When I got there, everyone was asking me “Where is he?” and I was worried. He showed up two hours later with his friends Camila and Verónica, and instead of coming to me or explaining anything, he immediately drank half a bottle of wine. Every time he tried to talk to me, our friends dragged him into more drinking, and he kept avoiding me. At one point I told him, “Hey, I’m not feeling well. You left me stranded. I can forgive you, but right now I don’t want you to bother me.” During the party, things got worse. Verónica —who I barely know— had a threesome in the bathroom with two guys as a “birthday gift” for one of them. That left a horrible impression on me. Meanwhile, Camila, drunk, said to my boyfriend: “Oh, do you remember when you kissed Foca?” I was shocked and hurt, but I didn’t want to create a scene, especially since my boyfriend was drunk. Later, Camila went around kissing every stranger she found. And my boyfriend suddenly said, “Let’s make out, let’s do it right now on the couch,” and got really intense. I was super uncomfortable. I pushed him off as best as I could, called a ride, and left. The next day I talked to him, and he admitted he had kissed Foca. He told me she had been into him for years, that she would break up relationships in school just to be with him, and that she used to get him drunk because she wanted to sleep with him. He justified it by saying, “If I don’t feel anything, I can kiss whoever I want.” I told him that was wrong. We argued for two weeks while he kept minimizing everything. Eventually I told him enough was enough, and we broke up for good. Right after that, his friends started insulting me, saying I looked horrible, that I looked disgusting, and that because of how I looked, Diego had the right to sleep with whoever he wanted. That kiss with Foca destroyed my trust. I wasn’t willing to trust him again. Then I found out he used to tell his friends every time we had sex to ask for their opinions, and I felt disgusted. Now I feel empty, depressed, disconnected, and really bad about myself. It hurts that I lost five years of my life with the wrong person. I don’t know what to do. I feel like no one will ever love me, that I look awful, and that I’m beneath everyone. I’ve been told horrible things, and I feel disgusting looking at myself in the mirror. Everything feels heavy. I’m tired, emotionally blocked. I don’t feel angry, just sad. Nothing gives me pleasure anymore, I have no strength, and every emotional connection hurts. I feel like life is moving on and I’m stuck here
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