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sensitiveBranch5037
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PathStep 26 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2020 Member sinceDecember 18, 2019
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I don't know what to do about this certain issue, advice will be much appreciated.
Anxiety Support / by sensitiveBranch5037
Last post
 January 23rd, 2020
...See more Hey, So, i dont know if the same persons will read this post (since this one and my first one is linked to the same problem) but right now i would like some advice from anyone. This post is basically about a same 'crush issue' I have been facing. To sum everything up -I wrote about my 'crush' problem in my first thread- I have a crush, he likes me and vice versa. We've been hanging out for a few months in real life and for a awhile over text and since we go to different schools, we strictly text over phone now. I have stated in a previous thread that I tend to overthink A LOT, to the point where i start to think irrationally and to the point where it affects me and causes me to be distressed. So for these few weeks we have been talking. Everything is still great between us. Although I've still been overthinking, it's not as bad as bad as before (at least I think) So now onto my problem... my crush (we are not bf and gf yet, we are still testing things out) has recently told me hes been thinking about taking me out on a date sometime soon. Of course, I'm thrilled about this but i cant help but feel scared and just not prepared. I don't go out often, my parents hardly let me go out by myself (which is ridiculous since I'm ALMOST young adult ). I've only been out ONCE by myself which was with my friends. The other time, they stayed with me. Because I hardly go out by myself, I feel this has affected the way I am. Why I'm soo anxious, why I overthink. My mother tells me she doesnt want me out alone because, 'sexual trafficking is rampant' and I might get kidnapped. I understand her concerns but I'm growing up and I have to do things on my own. But now, how am I supposed to do that if I have always been pampered and babied and I'm now too scared to go out into the world. My crush thought that it would be simple for me to go out with him but I had to explain that my parents are 'overprotective'. My mother has stated she doesn't care if Im going out with a friend. She would still not trust them since anything can happen and if anything were to happen, she cannot do anything since she says my friends may say that they dont know what happened to me (if I were taken away). I havent told my parents about my crush yet and I'll have to. If we are to go out then my parents will know about him anyway (since they would be the one transporting to and from the date and anywhere I go). He's also stated if it's okay we go on a double date, but I dont know how to feel about that. In social issues I tend to be very anxious. The time I went out with my friends and my parents were there, I felt soo uncomfortable (in the social setting, not my parents being there) mainly because it was a dancing event and I cant dance (well, I refuse to because although I never dance, I just think I cant), I just went there to hang with my friends. I felt so uncomfortable and I just stood still on the dance floor while my friends danced and had fun. I had no fun that day. I felt miserable, my heart was racing and I felt like I wanted to cry. I tried going to the bathroom to cry but I couldn't let it out (although there was a moment where someone said something not very funny and i ended up laughing and crying hysterically for some reason and my friends had to ask if I was alright and of course I said yes), it wasnt until I left and got home that I could let it out. I promised myself that evening that I would never go to that event again. My parents are one obstacle to get through if I am to go on this date, but the next is actually GOING OUT on it. I'm afraid that what if I am miserable again? What if I ruin this date and he doesnt want to talk to me again? What if I feel the sudden urge to cry and just make a fool out of myself . I HAVE NEVER BEEN ON A DATE BEFORE, not even a double date with other people i dont know. I don't know the first thing to do on a date, heck, I sometimes think I'm walking the wrong way, standing the wrong way, talking the wrong way, eating the wrong way in public or even just making a wrong face. If I'm going to make a good impression to those who are coming on this double date, how do I do that? I want to tell him about how I feel about this certain thing but I'm afraid too, that he will probably think of me in a weird way. I can kind of tell he's an extrovert and is cool with going out since he's mentioned he's gone out with friends many times before . I, on the other hand am not very "chill" as him. Right now I feel very worried and I've told him that I'm very sorry about this situation but he's said that it's okay and that its not my fault and we can figure something out and that I shouldnt worry my head about it. But I just dont know.... How do I go around explaining this to my parents who are NOT that keen with me going out (especially since this would be my first time going out with a guy). And if I do, how can NOT ruin the date? Any advice will be much appreciated. Thank you and have a good day/night ~I apologize for any grammatical errors
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Emotional issues with anxiety and neediness. Advice would be appreciated
Anxiety Support / by sensitiveBranch5037
Last post
 January 11th, 2020
...See more I just want to get this out and I although I don't like posting my feelings online (and this is my first time doing so) i just really need advice right now since I'm confused, anxious and my emotions are all over the place and I cant really find much people to talk about it with. This will sound stupid but how I'm feeling right now is because of a crush. I've been feeling strong emotions towards my crush for a few months now, but how I feel towards this certain person has gotten way out of hand. To make this short, I confessed to my crush and he admitted that he liked me back too. Of course, since we both have major exams coming up, we came to the conclusion that we would continue to have our convos and act the same way we would act and see if how we feel towards each other continues to "blossom". We didn't want to start a relationship so soon since we have known and have had feelings for each other for four months, plus with studying and various other stuff, a relationship wouldnt be the best idea at the moment. Though, he says we can 'test the waters', like flirting or whatnot and just take baby steps with this whole thing. So for the next few weeks up to now, we would have regular convos, just talk about our day, talk about our interests and etc. He has told me he genuinely likes me and has stated that if things work out in the next few months after our exams he would take me out. But, that's not my problem . Despite him saying he likes me and he has already stated he wants to take me out a few times, I somehow keep thinking hes losing interest for me. You see, we dont see each other often. We used to see each other at certain classes we would attend over the weekend in preparation for those exams but after 2 months he stopped coming (for certain reasons I dont know) and before he left be asked me for my number so I gave him. And so thats how we kept in contact. We go to different schools and due to this, we dont see each other often. It's mostly text. He texts me and I text him and our convos are usually nice, might I say, nicer than some of the convos I have with my friends (they usually leave me hanging at 'lol' , 'yh', 'kl' or just leave me on read or just say 'smile'). But the thing is, he usually takes long to read my text (at least that's what I think). Sometimes he would take about 2-3 days to answer my text and it would just eat me up inside. Why? I dont know. I know he has a busy life and nothing revolves around me or anyone in that matter, but I just feel uneasy when hours pass and he doesnt respond. Weeks ago before I confessed, I kept getting sad when he didnt respond to my texts and cried at many moments and was unable to get some work done because all that was on my mind was him! There would be some moments where I would send some texts and he would read them and leave them on read for up to 1-3 days. Sometimes he would be online for a short time and not respond. I would start to overthink stuff like 'did I say something wrong?' 'Do I respond to him? Or would it make me seem more clingy than I already am?' 'Does he even like me still? I'm pretty sure there are better girls at his school that he would like other than me' ' Should I just wait until he responds?' And so I wait.. And wait and wait and continue to think negative things about this situation when really, there are plausible explanations as to why he hasnt answered me... There was a point where he left me on read for 2 days and I decided to text one message asking him If he was good. The message didnt go through.. I started panicking, thinking that his phone got lost, someone stole it, he changed his number and etc etc. I kept thinking 'oh no how will I speak to him again? He might not even remember my number to ever contact me again, what If I get a text a few days later with him texting suspiciously? what if the person that stole the phone is impersonating him and is gaining info about me to put me in danger?' Crazy stuff like that I thought... Lo and behold later that day......... he said his wifi went out... I spent a whole day worrying for no reason. No matter what I researched, no matter how many times I told myself it's gonna be okay, I kept thinking it was gonna be the end. (Heck, i even told a listener about how I was feeling about this, but after a week, no response from the listener, not even a reply to say that they are busy. So I just deleted the conversation, thinking that I'm wasting their time with this and just kept what I felt inside hoping for the best) I keep thinking I'm going to mess this whole thing up. This is the first time someone has reciprocated my feelings and I cant help but think it's all going to end up in flames and I'm going to end up heartbroken and miserable. I have tests now (not the major exams but still important) as well as a group assignment due next week. I started studying for the test and I have started the assignment but I cannot concentrate because all I think about is HIM HIM HIM. Will he answer? Does he think I'm annoying? Should I give him some space? That's all that is on my mind and it's just making me feel irritated and confused. I want to focus on my schoolwork and also juggle a developing relationship. I don't want to tell him how I feel about this to drive him away or for me to even stop text him because that will just make me feel worse and even more miserable. I like texting him, I feel like I can be myself and like what I like around him (we found out we have similar interests when we would meet in real life and get to know each other) but i feel like I'm driving him away, and that I'm becoming that weird person that stalks their crush. Sometimes I would check if hes online. And when he is, and he doenst respond to me, my heart would sink a little and I would think that he doesnt like me and wouldnt want to talk to me. He clearly is able to handle his feelings for me while I think about him 24/7. I've read up many posts about needy people and I know I am one, but i want to try and fix that so that i can concentrate on the important things at hand (schoolwork). But how do I do that? I dont want to limit the amount of times we talk (since we usually talk spontaneously during the week, maybe 1 or 2 times a week if it's not a holiday) but I don't want to come across as needy or a person that constantly wants his attention. I know he needs his space and he wants to talk to his friends and get various stuff done, but I just wish he would just answer my texts soon enough instead of leaving me on read or not answering at all and leaving me in suspense(as selfish as it sounds). If anyone has any advice they would like to give I would really appreciate it. I cant really talk about this to my friends because I fear they MAY talk about me behind my back and say stuff like 'she shouldn't be acting like this over a guy' or 'just stop thinking about him, he isnt soo important..' It isnt that simple though... But yes. Any thoughts and or advice would be appreciated. Have a good day/night ^^ ~I apologize for any grammatical errors.
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