Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
sensitiveOak3458
1 50 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts4 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2016 Member sinceOctober 7, 2016
Bio
Recent forum posts
sensitiveOak3458 profile picture
Depressed about my life
Depression Support / by sensitiveOak3458
Last post
 October 8th, 2016
...See more Depressed about life. I lost my job going on 37 days now. Been with the company for 10 years and was let go. They used some excuse to make me look bad, but I can get my unemployment benefits since claiming laid off. It hurts for 10 years with this company and it is personal since the CEO (Who I thought me and him were good friends) moved his house 3 times, and helped him out on other things. The CEO Son who is 25 is the VP and everybody feels he is going to run the company to the ground. They also let a 21 year employee go. We had a big contract with a bank and lost that contract almost a year. When it happened I was totally upset and really wanted to punch the son in the face for some comments he said before I left. During all this time barley getting out of the house only if need to. I lost at least 4 pounds and was slowing down taking my BP meds. However I signed up for OBama care and got a rate that was reasonable and now I have a 3 month supply for BP meds, but I have a tooth that I need an implant but again takes money. IT is hard when you have no job and unemployment benefits is not enough and only going to last 14 weeks. I have a house to take care of and scared of losing it and on the street. I do have support from my former coworkers who are in shock also. However in the beginning it was checking in but it has been less and less, but still it kinda helps because some of them have lifes, and don;t want to be a burden with them. I look on line for a job but it gets harder and harder and with my age, it can be harder. I was in collections and also have an insurance adjuster background but been out of it for 11 years. Trying to get back into it. I had two job offers one was the collections and then the insurance(which my former boss from 11 years) still working there. However I had to apply to get a temp adjuster license and sent it in and it was rejected because my former boss has to sign the paperwork and then send it back to me. It now has been 3 days and still no response. He stated he will be in touch. I feel the longer this goes, and now wonder did I make a MISTAKE IN TURNING DOWN THE first job?? I try to look at the positive that hoping and praying the job will come thru with my former boss signing the application but I am still applying for other jobs. I get bored and don;t know how retired people can do this in doing nothing. When I went to the doctor office my blood pressure was very low and dropped to the point of normal. Doctor stated if you are in a high stress job your BP is going up which was collections so now trying to avoid it as much as possible unless desperate. As of today, I feel very down, crying and don;t want to be around. My family lives in Illinois while I live in Georgia. I have not mentioned to my sister or mom because my mom is ill and not doing well so I don; want to burden them since my sister is taking care of my mom. In the beginning when all this happened I was not in a good place, dark hole and feeling not worthy, but it got better, but however still feel alone. No energy and I used to work out, not now. Worried about financial status. At times I just want to disappear and disconnect from everything and let my house go but then again maybe living on the streets might be better. It is hard to keep positive and feeling down and crying most of the time, is my life worth it or just disappear. Yes, I know there are other people who have much more serious issues with health etc, and I feel that but again when you have lost sense of worthy, what else am I suppose to feel?? Right now it just sucks Thanks for listening.
Search more from @sensitiveOak3458
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
4 total badges
Hand Shake First Post Reaching out First Compassion
Report an issue