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sensitiveTurtle07
1 76 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2026 Member sinceNovember 3, 2026
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I lost a girl I really liked because of my insecurities
Relationship Stress / by sensitiveTurtle07
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more I started talking to a girl a year and a half ago during Junior year that a friend of mine put me onto. We got along really well, we had similar humor and she was so nice to be around. I really liked her as a person and who I was when I was with her. We would go out a few times and and talk a lot and then I cut it off. I did it because I felt that I was too insecure and too much of an overthinker to be able to start having a real relationship with her. I knew she would start seeing those parts of me eventually and I was scared of that, so it never became something serious. A couple months later she got with someone and even though I was sad about that, I couldn’t be mad about it. We never became something and it was pretty short lived what we had. Now, its senior year, and her relationship with the other guy only lasted a few months, and after a good while, I reached out to her for us to start talking again and she was down for it. Thing is though, I really hadn’t advanced much or made progress with the reasons I left in the first place, I was honestly more insecure than when I left the first time and even more of an overthinker. We start talking again and it goes well like it had before, except this time, it’s moving a lot quicker. We made out on our first date and it was real intense. Literally my second time seeing her, it’s me sneaking out to go to her house in the middle of the night for us to be with each other. I was having a sleepover at my friends house already and I was really high so I thought why not go over to her? At first its all cool, then we start getting close. We make out and things start getting intimate, but I was so insecure that I didnt even want to take things further with her, even though I wanted to. I was thinking “what if she doesn’t like my body? what if im not good enough? what if i dont have what it takes to make her happy?” I wouldnt let myself do it and wouldnt do anything that would take things further between us. We just kept it in that zone for an hour, and even though I could tell she would’ve wanted to go further, I didn’t let myself get there. Fourth time I see her, it’s me in my mom’s Tahoe and I go over at night time just to see her for a bit. Then it’s the same thing, we start making out and we take it to the back seat, but this time, its way more intense. We’re all over each other, then she takes her top off and things start getting more intimate between us. But I was just keeping it there and wasn’t initiating anything to go further. My insecurities and my overthinking were just getting louder and louder the more intense we were getting. I couldnt bring myself to take my own clothes off and expose my body to her, even though I wanted to. I was terrified of what she might think of me, and that fear was stopping me from exploring more of each other like we both wanted to. I left after our session just feeling terrible and knowing that I wont be able to hold it like this, I couldn’t even bring myself to get more intimate with her. I didn’t want to because I knew if I did, then we would start doing more and I would have to expose more of myself, and I was so terrified of that, more than anything else honestly. Our hang outs get less frequent and we didn’t get that intense again. Then, while we were still talking to each other, I found out that she had blocked me on *** (I didnt follow her there but I would see her profile and what she would post) to hide what she had posted. My friend showed me though, and it was her getting asked out to prom with a sign saying “It’s a love story baby just say Yes!” with a whole thing in front of her house. She said yes and yeah I was heartbroken. I stopped talking to her after I saw that, I didnt even say anything to her about it, I didnt even text her anything, I just stopped talking to her and she never reached out to me again either. I was ***, but at the same time, I wasn’t surprised. I was being an insecure b*tch and wasn’t trying to go further, what did I want her to do? Wait for me? It wasn’t right and I shouldn’t have even talked to her again in the first place if I was still wrapped up in those problems, and doing even worse with them this time around. I lost someone I really enjoyed being around and wanted something with because of my insecurities and lack of trying to overcome them.
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