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shyJet6038
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2022 Member sinceFebruary 15, 2022
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Confused about a girl
Relationship Stress / by shyJet6038
Last post
 February 24th, 2022
...See more So I’ve been talking to this girl for 2 years now. She’s had a boyfriend the whole time. She’s also known that I have strong feelings for her as I’ve told her multiple times. During the first year we were really close. We used to text and Snapchat everyday. We would go on walks together, we would FaceTime for hours at a time untill 4/5am watching films and talking. We used to send each other songs where the lyrics were about love and relationships. We had lots of conversations about feelings. I think there’s been at least a dozen times in the last 2 years where we’ve stopped talking. Each of these times it was after we talked about how I felt about her and I would tell her that I couldn’t stay friends or stay close to her as it hurt to much. Every time she would say she understood and agreed we stop talking. Every single time we stopped, she would message me and start things up again. Wether it was a day later, a week or a month. It was always her messaging me. I even blocked her once and she text a mutual friend asking if we could talk. She would always say she was just checking I was okay. In the past year we’ve been a bit more distant. I got in a relationship and we stopped talking for almost 6 months. That was untill she came into my place of work(a pub) with her boyfriend. Now she knows I work there. She’s there for a few hours in which I avoid her and her boyfriend. However just before she leaves she come and finds me to talk. She asks how I am and that was about it. She then comes in again the following weekend but this time with out her boyfriend. Bearing in mind she dosent really drink and dosent go to the pub often, Maybe once every 2 months or so. She comes up to me again before she’s about to leave and tells me she’s going to text me when she’s gets home and makes me promise I’ll reply. So sure enough she texts me and it starts again. She tells me she misses me and needs me in her life. We’ve been talking again for the last few months. Things are slightly different now as she lives with her boyfriend where as before she lived with her parents. She also used to live about a 45 minute walk from me. She is now my neighbour(30 second walk). We still text just not as much as I don’t think she can reply easy. We’ve been for walks and drives. She even baked me a cake and cookies? I’ve tried to be blunt and distant and whenever I see the chance not to reply I stop. But she always texts me again a few days later. I love her but I don’t know what to do. Every time I try and get her out of my life and stop thinking about her she always come back. Which is I guess what I want just not in these circumstances. I just don’t know what she wants. I’ve tried asking her but I never really get an answer. She’s quite shy and Sometimes I worry that she’s not happy with who she’s with but she feels trapped. During the first year when we were really close she used to always say she wasn’t happy, she would moan about her boyfriend and say he wasn’t very nice. She even told me once that he had come home and hurt her physically. I’m really stuck. It’s been two years of the same thing and I don’t know what to do. But it is having a big impact on my mental health. Do I keep trying or is it time to give up?? We didn’t speak or see each other for 6 months, I got in another relationship and yet I still thought about her every single day with out fail.
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