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shymek
1,335 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts26 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2020 Member sinceMay 4, 2020
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breakup and loneliness
Relationship Stress / by shymek
Last post
 May 6th, 2020
...See more i was in a relationship for almost a month. then things became a bit toxic and unhealthy, so he decided to end this. i wasnt a fan of this idea and i'm still not ;(( i've been single since we broke up(early april) and i feel very miserable. what hurts me the most is that he's already moved on, even found someone new i think. i wish i was surrounded by supportive friends like he is. but in reality i spend in my bed every day, lonely and sad. my destructive thoughts won't let me just calm down and catch up with my school work (i've really fallen behind). i feel ashamed of having feelings for someone who doesnt have them for me. he's doing visibly better than me while my mental health is at the edge. it makes me question everything, i have very serious trust issues. i'm alone, depressed and i think about doing bad things to myself all the time. i feel like shit because i just cant move on. i'm not sure if it's even about him - or i just cant deal with this loneliness anymore. our relationship wasnt long, i'm aware. but he was the first person to ever show me love, care and attachment. i've lost all of it now. mainly because of my toxic behavior that basically ruined our relationship. i regret it so much. i need a new boyfriend, but i'd rather avoid desperate looking. i just wish there was someone in my life to help me value myself more and make me feel good like he would when we were together.
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