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silasMarner
1 716 M Little Steps
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts65 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes21 Current upvotes21 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2023 Member sinceSeptember 25, 2022
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My thoughts
35 & Over Community / by silasMarner
Last post
 October 23rd, 2023
...See more Ive noticed that positivism seems to be going out of style, lately... and I'm perfectly fine with that. I think it's because it (positivity) is forced upon people. Its a relentless bombardment of these self-righteous, condescending and ironically Darwinian attitudes. "Just be happy," people say, as if theres some switch you can flip on and off, at will. Because of the selfish (yes, SELFISH) nature of positivism, its as though you're expected to put on a facade to please others. Some people are happy, others aren't! It's just the way it is. Some negative people are malingerers and attention-seekers, but it's horrible to assume that of all depressed people. I know I can't stomach the idea of putting on an act to appease others. Just thinking about it exhausts me. I suspect I'm not the only person who feels this way. Don't get me wrong, Positivity, if approached in a way that is balanced and tempered with compassion and realism is good, but without that balance, there, it is TOXIC. The way I figure it; positivism is the cause of the victim-blaming culture in which we live. Its the reason why people blame women for being victimized, instead of blaming the perpetrator. Positivism is the reason society hates the homeless and allows them to wallow in squalor. Positivism is toxic, both at the macro and micro level. Dismissing, or discrediting or impugning someone who's angry, sad, or depressed is toxic- it's the literal ANTITHESIS of spreading ACTUAL positive energy. I get that positive people have to work hard to get to better places. I get that, but I don't think its fair to expect people to exude positivity at the convenience of others. People say "mind over matter," but the people I know who are in a state of RELATIVE peace and tranquility seem to come by it, naturally and their happiness is situational. I don't think it's fair to shame people for being pessimistic. Some people just have a tough time, regardless of attitude, or effort. They want understanding and compassion and instead, find themselves on the receiving end of some sanctimonious, condescending lecture. The Positiv-ites don't seem to want to be bothered with empathy, instead, they expect you to convert to their POV. So, that being said, if anybody reading this is in a dark place and needs compassion and understanding, you can talk to me. I will NEVER judge you, or lecture you. I'm not some wise sage who can provide you with the answer you seek, but if you need to vent, I will listen and show compassion. Shalom ✌️
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Random strangers seem to hate me for no reason
35 & Over Community / by silasMarner
Last post
 January 3rd, 2023
...See more I don't get it, I just don't get it. I'm polite. I mind my own business. I keep to myself. I can understand not being popular, but to hate me......? Why? A random old lady approaches me in a supermarket- never met the woman- and tells me (a certaim cuss word beginning with f) you. It happens a lot. People scowl at me, people cuss at me.... I mind my own business and try to be polite, as I previously stated. Is it my looks? I realize I'm a fat, ugly guy but it isn't as though I live in a bell tower and have a hump in my back, or something. Is it because I don't smile at people? Because, I was under the impression that smiling at random people was considered "creepy." Is it because I'm quiet? Well, guess what; I could be more talkative if I felt that people wanted to talk to me. When I do socialize, I'm always the one to initiate the interaction, never the other person. If that doesn't send a clear message, I don't know what does. I'm not asking for the world to modify itself to accommodate my sensibilities, or anything ridiculous like that. I just want to understand how it works. I want to know why people react as they do to my presence. I wanted to know why my mere existence seems to offend some people? Is it some irrational cognitive bias, or something?
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Newbie
35 & Over Community / by silasMarner
Last post
 September 27th, 2022
...See more Mike from New Hampshire
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No hope left
35 & Over Community / by silasMarner
Last post
 September 27th, 2022
...See more Male Age: 40 If emptiness and tragedy is all thats in store for me, [edited]. I've made tons of mistakes in my life, but it wasn't all my fault.... I didn't ask to be slower than the average person, intelligence wise. When I was a kid, I didn't ask to be bullied in school, nor did I ask to be beaten up and called an idiot on a daily basis at home. I didn't ask to try like heck but never be able to become good at literally anything. I didn't ask to have my confidence systematically and methodically trashed. I didn't ask for society to shun me for not having confidence that I WOULD HAVE had if I hadn't been so beaten up by living. I didn't ask for the people who claimed to care about me to call me a whining "b-word" (pardon my language) for daring to "open up." I didn't ask to have my social anxiety continually reinforced when I'd give people a chance to like me by "putting myself out there," only to find out that the people hated me as much as I feared they would. God, what kind of cruel, twisted joke is that?! I always tried to maintain hope that eventually, I'd find acceptance, understanding and love. But at 40, things tend not to change. I'll never NOT be obese. I'll never be successful at anything. I'll never be popular. I'll never be handsome. I take full responsibility for the way I let my appearance deteriorate, but the fact remains: the world is compassionless and heartless and soulless [edited]. note and edit by @theriverissinging, 7 cups is unable to meet support needs when in times of crisis or similar ideation. please reach out crisis hotlines as accessible. some more information here [https://tinyurl.com/7cupscrisis]. ❤️
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