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sincereApricot1089
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2025 Member sinceApril 21, 2025
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A lot has happened and I am not comfortable being at home. (SA)
Trauma Support / by sincereApricot1089
Last post
 April 29th, 2025
...See more I hope this is the right place for this. Back in August 2024, found out that Older SS was SAing Younger SS. At the same time, I lost my only still living grandparent. It took a while to get through the inital shock and trauma of it all, especially it happened all at once. Prior to that, Older SS kept asking me about sex, with him. Looking back now, I am not even sure if he was planning on SA me as well at some point. How did we find out that all of this happened? At one point when husband was talking to Older SS about some issues (possibly about the sex with me, idr), Younger SS said something to me like "What Older SS wants to do with you, he has been doing to me for years." That made me think that he was talking about sexual stuff, and turns out I was right. I thought that was all of it, but now I am wondering if OSS told YSS that he wanted to r**e me as well. OSS is in an inpatient facility for who knows how long. Don't know what is going to happen to him once he is out. Even if he never comes back to live here, I am still afraid and do not want to live here anymore. (I had issues with husband before all this and told him I wanted a divorce. When all of this happened, that kind of got put on the back burner and hasn't been brought back up since.) Some of my thoughts about being afraid: * Even if he doesn't come back here, does husband never plan to ever see him again? The mother lives states away, so it isn't as easy as just going out to see him for a few hours and then coming back home. * YSS- I know he is a victim and deserves some understanding and that he was probably very afraid, but I do not trust him around my 4 year old. I know victims don't often commit the same acts against others, but it is something that I don't want to risk. * I would never feel comfortable leaving my 4 year old alone with him, no matter how old she is. YSS is autistic and its hard to know how he thinks about things/etc. * YSS has been aggressive with 4 year old in the past. Not consistently, but still afraid of that as well. * If OSS was planning on r**eing me, did YSS know that as well, and he was just going to let it happen? (again, i know it goes back to him being a victim and was possibly threatened, but I still cant get over that) * Has either one had thoughts about doing it to 4 year old (or have they arleady) * Even if OSS doesn't come back here to live, I am afraid that he may come back here once he is out of treatment and retaliate against me (Hurting 4 year old as well) * OSS also mentioned to YSS, that YSS eventually told us - that he wanted to k!ll a bunch of different specific groups. When that came up in "family therapy," he said YSS brought it up first/was more specific about things. IDK if it is just talk, or if both SS's actually feel this way, but it makes me uncomfortable. I feel guilty for even having any of these thoughts. There has been a lot more other stuff that has came out over the past few months regarding husbands parents that is another story.
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