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sincereNest9472
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceMay 15, 2024
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Idk what to do
Depression Support / by sincereNest9472
Last post
 May 23rd, 2024
...See more I don't remember when it started, but for the past couple of years I've been constantly feeling lonely, I don't feel like keeping up, stressing or getting to work, I feel incapable of doing anything, whatever I start, I end up abandoning it a few days later. I spend hours in bed, doing nothing or daydreaming.  I have a best friend, but I still feel lonely and unappreciated. I had a girlfriend a few months ago, I left her because I suddenly felt nothing for her, but I have no regrets. Instead, 1 and a half years ago I had a relationship with a girl I loved very much, but it was an extremely toxic relationship, and I don't know, I'm still looking for someone to remind me of her, but it absolutely disgusts me, I miss her, but I would never go back to her. I can't open up or vent to people, I feel like a creep if I do. I can't even make friends, most people don't fit into my interests, I'm not saying they're bad, but I just don't feel comfortable with them, and if I find someone I would like, I can't get close, I feel desperate and cringe, even though I know I long for someone to care about me as much as I care about them.  I try to find hobbies, there are so many things that interest me, but soon after that I get bored, or I'm not as interested in them as before. Everything bores me, whatever I do, I get bored with it after a while. Sometimes, I find something that takes me for hours, days, maybe I spend a lot of time on it and have fun with it, but after that I don't like it anymore, it doesn't give me any feeling, and I feel empty and bored again.  I don't see hope in my future, but I'm not sad or concerned about it anyway, I think I'll get to the point sooner or later where I simply commit, a little bit I'm disappointed, but can I really do anything about it? When I'm with those people with whom I have a good relationship, I can distract myself with them, and I genuinely have fun with them, and I don't mind laughing and having a good time, but as soon as I'm alone I start to feel empty and bored again, and thinking back to what I've been through with my them rarely brings me to smile again or put me in a good mood, and very often, I forget things right away, and I don't remember the most memorable and funny moments. I think my life now is to look for something to obsess over for a few days, or a period, and then abandon it and look for something else.  I really don't know what to do with my life
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