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sinclair
2,016 M Hopeful Heart 2
PathStep 91 Compassion hearts177 Forum posts99 Forum upvotes140 Current upvotes140 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2024 Member sinceSeptember 27, 2016
Bio
she/her | they/them
i like making art and poetry + being in nature
Recent forum posts
in the little mind of mine (diary + poems)
Journals & Diaries / by sinclair
Last post
 May 23rd, 2022
...See more i saw people making these and i thought i would give it a try, since every time i try to talk with a listener it just doesn't seem to work out. i guess the fault is mine, i don't know, i have felt like i didn't really get much out of them, the conversations felt bland. maybe i haven't found a listener suitable for me. it's currently saturday night, and as much as this day has been relaxing and calm like i have badly needed, it has also been equally draining and lonely. finally got to spend the first day at my new apartment that i got with my sister which feels great, but i just felt so outside today since her boyfriend is here as well. when i'm around them i always feel like i'm on the way, i'm a thirdwheel, unwanted in there. so i have pretty much spend the time alone in my bedroom while those two have been in the other one. and well, they haven't invited me in there to watch anything and went out by themselves so i guess i wasn't really wanted.
feeling replaced and forgotten
Relationship Stress / by sinclair
Last post
 August 6th, 2020
...See more Hello. I have always been very close to my sister, throughout my entire life she has been my closest friend who i spent most of my time with. At the end of last year she got a boyfriend, and as much as seeing her in such a happy and healthy relationship makes me happy i can't help but feel lonely because the time we spend together has decreased a lot. She spends the weeks at her boyfriend's place and sometimes comes home for the weekend, if she comes together with him i feel really lonely because they will spend all the time together while i'm alone in my room and listen to them have a good time when i just wanted to spend some time with my sister. I feel that many things i used to do with her she now prefers to do with him. There have been moments when we have discussed on doing something together but then she ended up doing with him instead, like a movie i wanted to go see together but never saw in the end because she watched it with him instead. I feel like she doesn't even want to try and spend time with me now. I don't think she has even realized that i feel really lonely and distant from her, and i'm afraid of discussing it because i wouldn't want to ruin her happiness and make her feel bad. Has anyone else struggled with becoming distant with a close friend when they got into a relationship or had somewhat similar situations?
getting help for anxiety
Anxiety Support / by sinclair
Last post
 August 6th, 2020
...See more Hi! After being on a gap year i'm starting university in less than a month, which i am very excited about but also all the anxiety related to it is eating me alive. I'm trying to keep myself busy so i won't think about it but i always end up thinking doing that when i'm trying to sleep and i just feel like i can't breathe. I have been struggling with the feeling of anxiety for years but i have never got the courage to get help. My social life has pretty much died completely because i always cancelled going out with my friends when they asked me, during my gap year the only people i have spent time with are my sister and parents. I feel like i have missed out so many things in life most people have experienced, like sleepovers, and i can probably count the times i actually spent time with my friends during the past three years with just my ten fingers. I feel really really lonely but honestly no one else can be blamed but me. I want to feel more "normal" and get help once i start uni, but obviously the idea of asking for help is terrifying. Can i get any advice related to getting help, or stories on how you got help for anxiety?
poem: wandering (possible trigger warning)
Self-Harm Recovery / by sinclair
Last post
 August 23rd, 2019
...See more on days like this, when i'm filled to the brim with loneliness, i let my mind wander to a place it's not supposed to be at i let it dream about the sight of red against my skin and the sigh of relief afterwards as if the melancholy and despair would have flown out of me through the red river physical pain is more tolerable than mental that's why it's addicting to someone who just wants the mental pain to stop still, the physical pain has never been a cure it just makes you momentarily forget but my mind refuses to believe it as it's seeking for something that would finally make me feel normal again
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