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sofiagrace
210 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts22 Forum upvotes33 Current upvotes33 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2016 Member sinceAugust 13, 2015
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question- need answers, please
Relationship Stress / by sofiagrace
Last post
 October 26th, 2015
...See more Okay, so a few months ago my narcissist ex ended our, what i now understand, was an incredibly emotionally abusive relationship. I've spent the last few months working really hard to deal with my feelings about all of it and forgiving myself for putting myself in that situation. I've moved on. I found out recently that my ex, who is 27 years old is actively pursuing an 18 year old girl. Now, aside from feeling very sorry for the next girl to come into contact with him, I don't care who he dates. But I feel like maybe I should say something to this girl. I know you'll say its not my responsibility, but I'm wondering if that's true. This girl is a teenager and dating someone like him could potentially lead to years of suffering. Is it not my ethical responsibility as a compassionate human being to mitigate the suffering of another person? I wouldn't even be asking this if the girl wasn't so young- if this situation wasn't so wrong on every possible level. What would you do?
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i don't usually hate people but... (vent, vent, vent)
Relationship Stress / by sofiagrace
Last post
 September 3rd, 2015
...See more My ex moved in with me three months into our relationship because he was about to be evicted from his apartment. Why? Because he didn't know anyone else here, I'm a nice person, and he would have been homeless otherwise. It took him three months to find a part time job. During that time I found out that he had lied to me repeatedly about all kinds of things including his past relationships with other women, all of whom he was still flirting with on Facebook. He was also trying to solicit sex on Craigslist through personal ads. After a number of explosive fights where I wanted to kick him out and he threatened to commit suicide, I let him stay because he vowed it would never happen again and because depressions lies to you and sometimes makes you kind of stupid. I was pretty depressed, but trying very hard to get help for it. I fell I love with this person and he said he loved me. We planned a future together. We bought each other promise rings- claddagh rings that symbolize love, friendship, and loyalty. We planned to get married. I'm not saying our relationship was perfect, we fought as much as we laughed, but I believed, and he led me to believe, that we could work through anything together. I spent most of the next year and a half financially supporting him until he finished school and got a really great job. I believed I was investing in our future together. Three weeks after he got the job he packed up and moved out. His reason, which he wouldn't give me until a week after he moved out, was that my depression was making him feel bad about himself. He told me he needed space to figure things out, but he wanted to work things out between us. He also told me he wasn't interested in dating anyone else. A week later I found out that he was bad mouthing me to all of his friends. He also set up a Tinder profile and was talking to at least a dozen different girls. If that wasn't bad enough, he left a huge mess for me to clean up in our apartment. He wouldn't give notice to our rental company that he had moved out until I drove to his office and refused to leave until he wrote one and gave me his keys. I decided to move myself because I couldn't stand the emptiness of our apartment and had to ask my father for money because I'd spent all of my savings paying our rent and buying us groceries while the ex looked for a job. I'm moving now and not once has he offered to help me clean the apartment we lived in. I had to call and text him repeatedly to get him to come pick up the rest of his stuff. And when he finally did I noticed that he's still, STILL, wearing the f-ing promise ring I gave him. I asked for it back since it doesn't mean anything to him and he said he wanted to keep it. I'm not a violent person, but I wish I had punched him in the face. He deserves so much more than that.
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I just wanted to share this...
Personality Disorders Support / by sofiagrace
Last post
 November 29th, 2015
...See more This is one of the best articles I've ever read about BPD, written by someone who actually has the disorder. https://www.themilitantbaker.com/2013/08/the-truth-behind-borderline-personality.html this is one of the best parts of it- "I wish I could issue a Public Service Announcement to everyone who identifies with mental illness symptoms that says: IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. We are all, yes all, a sum of our experiences and genetic makeup. You are not responsible for anything that has happened to you, or the way you were born. As humans, we instinctually do what is needed to survive and for those of us who experience an extreme diagnosis, our survival instincts may look strange to others. This is okay. When to change? That's your decision. If the repercussions from your coping mechanisms have started to affect your life negatively, you deserve the option to seek assistance. Every person deserves a balanced, happy and fulfilling life, you included. Fortunately for us, today we have resources that are helpful and effective. YOU DESERVE ALL OF THE HAPPY. The end."
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How do you deal with emptiness/ feeling nothing?
Depression Support / by sofiagrace
Last post
 August 17th, 2015
...See more i feel completely empty right now. I can't feel anything, can't even cry. Food doesn't taste like anything so I have to force myself to eat even though I'm not hungry. I'm not sure i want to start feeling again right now, but wondering how other people deal with it. What is your experience like in general? How do you find motivation to do things that HAVE to be done? What is it like when you start to feel again? Do you think other people are aware of what's going on?
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Feeling so lost
Depression Support / by sofiagrace
Last post
 August 13th, 2015
...See more On Monday my boyfriend packed up his things and moved out of our apartment. No warning, no real explanation. But I know it's because of my depression. I'm 35 years old and I loved him more than I've loved anyone in my whole life and I destroyed our relationship. I know that it's not my fault exactly, but I don't know how to go on living knowing that this thing inside me that I have no control over has taken away the thing I loved most in the world. I've been trying to get treatment, but nothing has helped so far. My meds are doing nothing. I'm also completely alone because I moved across the country to go to school so I don't know that many people and my family is over 2000 miles away. I feel so lost right now. I don't know any of you, but I needed to tell someone, anyone at all who might understand.
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