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softserve
1,869 M Hopeful Heart 1
PathStep 18 Compassion hearts28 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2021 Member sinceApril 11, 2021
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I can’t move on
Relationship Stress / by softserve
Last post
 April 19th, 2021
...See more Hi everyone. Recently my girlfriend of 2 years just broke up with me. It’s the it’s not you it’s me situation where she just lost interest(I wasn’t what she was looking for). She was my first relationship so maybe that’s why I’m in so much pain. I still love her so much and I’m still can’t stop thinking about her. Everything around me and everything outside reminds me of her because we’ve shared so many memories together and I tried so many new things with her. I miss her so much but I know there is nothing I can do to bring her back. People change so I understand where she is coming from. I just don’t want to accept that. Looking back at what we had, everything was going super well. The breakup sort of happened out of no where. She’s already moving on but I don’t want to move on from her. It hurts like crazy and I’ve been crying so much. This is the first time in my life where I’ve cried like this and its just so painful. I’m scarred for life and I don’t know what to do. Nobody will ever compare to her. She was perfect for me and now the bar is set so high. Idk what I’m doing anymore. I find repetitively talking about it therapeutic. I already know what I have to do but I don’t have the strength to do it. What are some tips to help me? I’ve tried what I usually enjoyed but those were also associated with her. I’m suffering. Thanks for listening to my talk.
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I’m tired
Depression Support / by softserve
Last post
 April 12th, 2021
...See more Hi, I just can’t do it anymore. Throughout my life, I’ve never seem to be happy. Everything just feels like a burden. I always just feel so alone. I have no close friends whom I can share my feelings to. My family and I just don’t connect in that way. No matter what I do I can’t seem to find something that makes me want to live. I’ve tried countless of hobbies and sports hoping to find something that brings joy. But in the end, it just makes me feel more empty and more depressed. Its been really hitting me hard recently with school too. I try so hard and spend all my time studying to get that sense of purpose and achievement, but in the end what did I get? I feel more depressed than before. I worked so hard only to find more sadness. And it extends far beyond school. Everything is a burden and always brings back sadness and pain. I’m just so tired of everything. I’m always putting others over myself because it gives me a sense of purpose. They say to give things time, but I’m just so tired of waiting. When will I be happy? Why can’t I be selfish for once? Recently I thought I found that happiness and sense of purpose when I met my girlfriend who is now my ex. We’ve been together for 2 years and I finally was feeling happy and saw something for me in the future. It’s not good to rely on someone for your happiness, but I just couldn’t find that something else that’ll make me happy. After the breakup, it seems true that everything ends up badly for me; maybe happiness wasn’t meant for me. In addition I had nobody to go to for comfort because I have no friends. I never minded before because my ex was like my best friend and I was hoping to encounter friends in the future. But now I don’t have anything going for me and I can’t find the strength to move forward. It seems that she’s already moving on, but I just can’t. If I let her go I know I’ll do something rash. I was really considering ending myself, but then I’m reminded that she’ll be hurt if I do. I really don’t want to hurt her because I still love her so I much. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want it all to end. I can’t take life anymore. I thought I’d give this a try before anything. Thanks
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