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soltide
361 M Embraced 3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts30 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2024 Member sinceAugust 15, 2022
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how do i support someone i cant help?
Relationship Stress / by soltide
Last post
 December 30th, 2023
...See more my girlfriend and i are long distance but i love them more than anything else this world has to offer. on the good side, she is one of the only people who goes out of their own way for me and genuinely makes me happy just by existing. i couldnt imagine being with anyone else after everything we've been through. i want to give her everything she could ever need, but the one thing they do need right now is something i cant give them. after we graduated, they moved in with a friend and the family is genuinely sent from ***. they laze around all day and treat them like their personal maid and their friend cant do anything without getting into trouble either. its been a constant cycle of people taking things from them and getting nothing in return their whole life, and i can see its finally on that last thread. they were never given any opprotunity to get a job or their permit as their school was a strict boarding school. they have no experience in the real world because no one was there to give them the opprotunities most people our age got. theyve been constantly let down and i unfortunately did the same to them; i tried to get them down here for christmas and the conversation where i told them it wasnt going to work out was basically a nuclear bomb of pain. it used to be i could give them advice and be there for them, but now all i can do is sit and listen. nothing theyre going through is something i know how to handle and support, so whenever i see them start to talk about something rough i have to get avoidant for my own sake. its starting to physically affect me and we have no other choice because i am all they have left. ive recommended this app once before so ill have a conversation about it with them again, but i dont know how long thats going to last. i love them more than anything, and i dont want to leave just because theyre at their lowest. but at the same time knowing i cant do anything to help them out of this is destroying me and slowly tearing me down to the point i almost feel as helpless as they do. am i supposed to know what to do? how do i put up support when im given more than i can hold?
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Those with BPD -- What does it look like for you?
Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by soltide
Last post
 September 4th, 2022
...See more for about the last 2 months or so, i've been stuck in this rut i just cannot seem to get out of. it fluxuates every day, but is especially bad when im by myself and/or its my time of the month ( im afab but transmasc ). i constantly feel like everyone is leaving me behind and im stuck where i am. im convinced my friends dont love me like they used to and find me annoying. im scared i did something wrong in the initial month of me feeling this way and it caused the breakup of my last relationship. how would i know what im feeling is bipolar depression or just an extreme case of burnout?
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she thinks she's aromantic; she helped prove to me i wasn't
Relationship Stress / by soltide
Last post
 September 4th, 2022
...See more hey yall, im new to this so sorry if this is kind of all over the place lol its been about a month, so yeah id think itd be reasonable to still be messed up over this. but it doesnt feel like its getting any easier, and i dont know if it ever will. i genuinely loved this person, she was and still is my favorite. i think i can safely say hes the first person ive ever been in love with. i dont know if i still am, but the very fact that i still feel fucking terrible just proves i was head over heels. i had finally found my one and only. august 4th, just before school had started, i send him a long message explaining how im in a terrible place mentally and i think all our time alone together was straining our relationship. they agree, talking about a break, which i wholeheartedly accept. sometimes in order to heal, relationships need breaks. then she busts out the 'i think i might be aromantic'. at first it didnt really hit, but about an hour later i was bursting at the seams in tears. my first real heartbreak, caused by the first person to steal my heart now i have adhd; i have an issue with hyperfixating on people just because they might like me. its easy to get lost in those feelings, thinking you like someone because they like you. it wasnt like that with him. it literally came out of buttfuck nowhere. it felt so good calling them my girlfriend for the first time. he saved me from a toxic relationship. we were each other's safe space, constantly gushing over each other and it made me feel so good. finally being able to love someone who loved me back. i have a lot of self image and confidence issues, and she made them seem nonexistant. the really fucking embarrasing part was that this was an online relationship; stupid, i know. i have no clue why im a mess over this when ive never met her in person. i just dont know what to do at this point, we're still best friends but with school and me working its been so hard to keep up and im terrified ill lose her all over again. i feel like the entire world is moving on without me and im just stuck, losing everything until i have nothing left to give. ive had to delete most of my social media because i keep seeing all these happy couples and things that remind me of him. should i just suck it up and move on?
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