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someoneidk468
1 75,791 M Big Steps 7
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts3,224 Forum posts58 Forum upvotes45 Current upvotes45 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2026 Member sinceMay 19, 2024
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For me
Journals & Diaries / by someoneidk468
Last post
 January 25th, 2025
...See more I'll js type wtv I feel everyday bc it's too weird? This loneliness eating me alive. Moms gone, brothers gone, idk if a friends gone but yea. Things changed alot. Can't even cry or express my feelings nowhere other than cups. I have to stay happy for younger brother n keep him away from seeing me go crazy. It's hard to stop ur tears and show people things fine. It's hard to keep lying u have eaten. It's all hard when u miss them and dont even know if they miss you back. Thought I'd go out with friends but all of em travelling already. Just more than lost ever in this room. Trynna use the pain to get "stronger"?but what a loser I am who could only scratch this loser's face to a point it bled. Then lied to dad about me falling on the ground. Couldn't do what brain told me. Idk what to call myself for that tbh. Js too tired to even get off bed now, too tired to listen to music, too tired to study or anything at all. Odk if dads actong sweet is him being fake or he acc cares abt me no more. I'm rlly tired
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wtv
Friendship Support / by someoneidk468
Last post
 December 27th, 2024
...See more Nah cuz i hate how you've been thinking uve got the best friend n wtv, but how it ends up everytime is they change with u js cuz race, religion n wtv. its *** up. as someone been through this all *** before. being judged over n over. it all hurts bad. why not js accept the fact that we aint choosin our race ourselves, we got our own beliefs and at the end we're all the same kind. we're all human. like i aint no other kinda creature cuz this. It makes me feel all diff and i hate myself even more now
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Just a normal day
Relationship Stress / by someoneidk468
Last post
 December 5th, 2024
...See more i wake up this morning, to hear mom saying "my time is done anyway, ill be leaving soon!" then her husband saying "i wish u could get off here sooner". Find my mom crying out there. Dad starts yelling to a point i know he will beat her. worst part is dad made me seem stupid infront of my mom too. Anyway, i get up and look at the mirror idk why, trying to find some answers of idk what probably? try crying but cant no more. get out of room, realise, brother doesnt talk to my no more, moms disappointed cuz of me, dads always a messed up idiot who makes me hate myself, and im here now hating myself even more. i decide not to eat nothing no more today cuz i deserve it. i reach school, try avoiding every friend. sit here in the back of class trying to avoid everything. i was never this way.. teachers giving disappointed looks on my missing projects and hws and why im this way now. i realise how much of a failure i am then, as a daughter and a student and a sister. then realise how miserable me and my life is now. id rather be dead in the grave by myself atp
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idk
Self-Esteem / by someoneidk468
Last post
 December 22nd, 2024
...See more this is js for me to take out all the hatred i have for myself. i hate myself sm atp. so much. i wish i never existed. all my "friends", "family", everyone would be happier without me. i hate myself. no one cares. no one loves me. everyone hates me. im overdramatic. im hated. im left out always. im lonely. im no one. i deserve nothing. im stupid. ppl use me and laugh abt it. no one likes me. no one. im nobody. im literally no one. im hated. im lost. mom said right, "you lost friends not cuz of us, u lost them cuz of who u are. im ashamed of having a daughter like u". shes right. shes right. im lost. no one should *** reply to this saying im wrong n ppl love me n i dont realise,
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i hate myself
Self-Esteem / by someoneidk468
Last post
 November 16th, 2024
...See more i hate myself, i wish i never existed. i know deep down, people hate me, so do i hate myself now. i wish i could js finish this off once and for all. but look how stupid i am. cant even do that. loser. forgot those friends werent actual friends. forgot dad wasnt actual dad. forgot brother wasnt actual brother. forgot mom wasnt actual mom. forgot everything. how stupid am i. its like im *** lost, wandering around, hitting my head on a *** wall. then moving towards a mirror to call this person a weird, dumb, loser idiot. i wish i never existed i hate myself. i dont wanna continue on how do i explain?
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lost
Relationship Stress / by someoneidk468
Last post
 October 30th, 2024
...See more feeling tired and tired everyday. Losing people over and over day by day. Getting sicker and sicker everyday. Don't know what to do anymore. Feeling lonelier and lonelier everyday, even in the middle of my own family. Not feeling good enough for anything. Just tired. Need some rest. But rest cannot be helping either? Are things ending? Or is this how serious life starts getting as you grow up? Is it that you start to see the reality more and more every passing year? Is it just me, or what?
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