sp31337 Member Profile

...See more I have problems acknowledging and processing negative feelings. This has led me into anxiety and depression. The depression is almost gone now. I have been saying yes to things when I really wanted to say no. My father did the same thing, and I really want to get through this and become a better person (for myself and others). Two recent events are probably toughest ones; The first is a struggle with my wife and an episode with her last year. She developed feelings for another man. Says they are more "soulmate" feelings, and that she needs to know he is OK. She says there has been no infidelity, and I believe her, at least the rational me does. She did have some contact with him, also after we agreed that was not OK. As far as I know she has not had any contact with him since September last year other than saying hi at the store (we live in the same area). We have been married for 6 years, and she is starting to struggle with her feelings towards me. She wants more time alone, and I crave attention, affection and acknowledgement to help with my problems. We have three children, a 15 year old boy that is hers from a previous relationship, a 4 year old boy and a 3 month old baby girl. The second event is my father passing two years ago from cancer. I did not grieve him until Christmas 2014, and this went on through the new year and until February/March. I feel like the bulk of that is something I'm done processing, but I still miss him. He was the one person I could always talk to, at least about any practical issues. I have good days and bad days, varying from almost feeling like my old self, to days where I feel anxious, stressed and depressed. I've tried using different techniques, but when I feel better I stop and usually go on to new methods. I use mindfulness to a certain degree, but I need to really learn it properly and use it more regularly. I use tapping (tft/eft) from time to time, but that only helps me in the moment, not in the long run. When I feel down I speak to myself and say things like "I am a good and kind person", "I love myself and my family" and "I can manage anything I wish". I read TIFU's and look at funny/stupid images on Reddit to distract me and raise my spirit. I fret over daily chores, especially paying bills. I have pretty good income, but the money just runs out. I work as a consultant and get paid based on the hours I work. I fear I must look for a new job with a steady paycheck. I have been seeing a psychologist for the past 6 months, but had my last session for a while on monday. I'm unsure if she can help me any more, and I may seek help somewhere else. What can I do on my own to get better? How should my wife and I work to better our relationship?

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