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star31
177 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2020 Member sinceSeptember 12, 2020
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Realizing I have an anxious attachment style and my boyfriend is avoidant
Relationship Stress / by star31
Last post
 October 2nd, 2021
...See more Hi all, thanks to a member's answer I have done some reading and realized how much I fit into the anxious attachment style in all my relationships. And also how my partner fits into the avoidance type. I have have been through some counseling before as I have suffered anxiety and panic attics that finally led to a depression. This was at the end of a previous relationship that was very much toxic but I held on to and only when I left did I start to recover. This was 10 years ago and I haven't had any relapse since. However, I am now worried I am feeling very anxious all the time and finding it hard to focus on anything else. I can't enjoy being with my partner because I feel resentment that we aren't dealing with the issue I can't stop thinking about. I have explained this to him and he listens but I never feel satisfied with his answer, like he isn't committed enough to me and our future. Our problem is that we can't carry on just being a couple living in our separate houses as he is going to leave the country soon for a long period of time and then most likely accept a job in another part of the world. I am his first long time partner (3years) and I know exactly has made an effort to show me I am important but I need more, I want to be with him in an adult relationship that leads to marriage and children. And I'm worried I'm pushing him to much and I can only see two outcomes: we break up or somehow he makes me feel secure....advice please!! ​thanks so much
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