starryoctobersky Member Profile

...See more My ex, who was the love of my life but had also been extremely abusive, moved on to someone else not even 24 hours after our breakup. I don't believe it is a rebound. He is not the kind to have a rebound. He just genuinely falls in love very, very fast. After not speaking for a week, I finally responded to his messages and we talked about how well his life has been going in the past week... Eventually he joked about a girl and it turns out they have been seeing each other since the night after he and I broke up. Apparenty he had asked her and a couple of friends to go to a show he was helping with. He'd invited me, but then told me I couldn't go because his mom would be there and she hates me. I didn't care, and if he'd have let me, I would have gone even if she was there. I knew it was important to him. This girl was the only one who came to the show though. Afterwards she met his mom and he thanked her by hanging out with her at the very same place we had our first date. Mind you, this was ONE NIGHT after our break up. They hit it off and have been talking and going on dates ever since. Parts of me are so happy for him because our two years together were less than perfect and the new girl is beautiful and kind. Everything seems to be falling in place for them perfectly, but I am personally dealing with a lot of anger and pain that I just want to get past. He was my best friend and we genuinely loved each other, but he was very abusive to me during our 2 year relationship and those bad memories are what I used to get through the week after our breakup. I was in so much pain, but remembering how much he lied, cheated, physically hurt me, and broke my trust, really helped me cope and realize I needed to move on. But for some reason, him telling me that he is with someone who makes him happy and that he wants to actually take things slow with her, really made me annoyed, angry, jealous, and has left me in so much pain. I was doing fine until he told me this. I feel what he is doing with this girl (who came out of an abusive relationship 6 months ago) in addition to telling me and knowingly doing this so soon is entirely insensitive and disgusting. He sent me a text several days after our breakup saying "I'm sorry. I just don't want to love or be loved by anyone right now." I didn't respond, but in my heart, I called BS and I knew he would move on quickly, but not literally the day after... I didn't even have time to heal properly and I have no idea how he could have or how he can disrespect our two years together by jumping into a new relationship this soon. He wants to remain friends, and I would like to do that too. Although our relationship was horrible, I do believe we make great friends and our breakup was clean this time (That's how I knew it was the end. Every other time we'd broken up, it was messy but we always came back because we missed the passion and needed closure. This time we got the closure and the passion in the relationsip died a while ago so there was nothing to come back to).Originally, we agreed to not talk for a while and gradually introduce each other back into our lives as friends. Now for some reason, he's changed his mind and expects me to still be the best friend I was to him while we were together and he's angry and doesn't seem to understand how I can't do that. I can't sit and watch as he asks for advice about how to be successful with his new relationship when I'm still grieving over the failure of our relationship. I just want to move past this while still being able to have closure with him. I need all of the advice I can get because none of my friends think I have the right to be upset about this and are fed up because they think I should have just cut him off a long time ago.

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