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strawberrykittycat
4,024 M Seeking Light 4
PathStep 14 Compassion hearts73 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2024 Member sinceOctober 7, 2023
Bio

Hello! Things I think are important to know about me is that I’m a lesbian, and a teenager. Hope you’re day is well. <3

Recent forum posts
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hoenslty never written a poem before but: an inescapable regret
Poetry / by strawberrykittycat
Last post
 February 13th, 2024
...See more an inescapable regret I know I’m supposed to be your friend, But I think I couldn’t escape wanting more Thoughts of you felt inevitable,  even if we were never predestined. Engrossed by the wish to be beside you, I let my fingers gently graze your arm. Your skin was always warmer than my own,  driving a dangerous desire to hold you close- to cherish the enfolded blush that arose  when you blessed me with your freckled smile.  The sensation of your brushed kiss, left me to revel in your allure. In that glimmer of time the featherlight breeze of affection seemed almost tangible. But I know my sentiment was in vain. I know I beg you not to leave me, But I think fate will plunge us to an end. Reflecting on our memories, I become a jester, a fool who asked for their own demise. When you didn’t want me I got stuck in a loop, cursed to live with the insincere story you left me.  It’s draining to look back and think of it, yet thoughts of you remain teeming with plague. You seemed much better at moving on whereas I keep throwing myself at your feet. Consumed by a thirst for satisfying closure, I refuse to let the poor sleeping dogs lie. But I know I'm supposed to see you out
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Insecurity about lack of romantic experices
General Support / by strawberrykittycat
Last post
 December 8th, 2023
...See more Ive posted about this in another thread but it’s still on my mind. Ive never dated anyone, barely even kissed anyone. (the one person I kissed was a crush I had who realized a week later they were uninterested). I’ve never known what it’s like for someone to have a crush on me. I’ve had crushes on other people and were not reciprocated. When I tell this to people I’m always met with “well you don’t know that for sure” or “you’re so young.” It never makes me feel much better. I mean other people younger than me don’t struggle with this. It doesn’t do much to make me feel less lonely now, I’m told I have to wait till I’ve gone to college to meet new people but I might not even be allowed to go away. And yet in my current high school, there is little to no chance I’d find anyone as it’s the same people I’ve always been around. I’ve tried talking to friends about my insecurities and it’s always too much for them. They can’t respond, they don’t know what to say. It makes me feel even more isolated. I think something is wrong with me, not only because I don’t seem worthy of anyone, but because nothing ever makes me feel better when I consider things.
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It feels like nothing makes me change my mind
7 Cups Online Therapy / by strawberrykittycat
Last post
 November 22nd, 2023
...See more I am incredibly insecure over the fact that throughout my entire life not a single person has ever had any romantic feelings towards me. It makes me feel insecure, unlovable, and repulsive. But whenever I reach out to anyone to anyone and express to them, the response is predictable and never makes me feel better. Its always something along the lines of “you’re young, you have so much life ahead of you” or “you don’t really know if no one has had a crush on you.” I find those responses both unhelpful because it doesn’t change that for many other people at least around me, they have experienced such. If I’m the only one around me who feels this way, it makes sense that I am the outlier so something must be wrong with me. But I am so tired of being lonely and I don’t know what to change about myself to be more worthy of romantic attraction.
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