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sunnyTown8442
2,273 M Hopeful Heart 3
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts30 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2019 Member sinceFebruary 22, 2018
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Feeling inferior and envious
Depression Support / by sunnyTown8442
Last post
 September 10th, 2018
...See more I'm jealous of my best friend. He got into university and he's doing electronics, the course that I like. And now I discovered he's going to start his Master's in a few days time, and I just feel very very very envious and depressed. It was my dream, but he's achieving it. He gets paid to study and that's the only reason why he's still studying, even though he hates it. Meanwhile, I'm working as hard as I can and I don't even know if I can get even a diploma. I feel it's unfair. I wanted to be good at electronics not him. I'm the one working hard and he gets it at the end. He is my best friend and he's not allowed to trigger me like this. I don't even know if I like the subject anymore because everytime I practise it, I feel so inferior and stupid. Why can't I just stop caring? I've talked to him about my jealousy and depression, and he says he doesn't mind and says that I am impressive myself. But I still feel like he stole something from me. I still talk to him everyday and told him not to talk about his university because it triggers me, but I still feel it. Before I go to bed or after I wake up, I keep thinking about how worthless – that I cannot even be good at the things I want to be good at. And now I'm going to feel worse, with him getting Masters.
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