supersensitiveStrength |
Listener - Helper 3

Profile last updated: August 24, 2020
"I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO START."
Ah, this is probably one of the more common roadblocks to starting.
I'd say, "start anywhere," but that's not really helpful, is it? :)
You can try starting with one of these:
A. Complete the sentence:
a. "I don't understand why people/someone ____."
b. "When people do/say ____, I think/do ____."
c. "My day was going okay, but/then ____."
d. "If only ____, then ____."
e. "I dislike the idea/advice/pattern that ____."
f. "I wish there was more ____." 
B. Pick one of the following:
a. Pun session for for 15 minutes*, 5 puns** or until you feel more comfortable.
b. Aggressive compliments (to yourself, to me, or to nobody in the convo in particular) for 15 minutes*, 5 compliments**, or until you feel more comfortable. Must be in all-caps. (E.g. "I WISH MONEY RAINED ON PEOPLE WHO ARE NICE TO THE WAITER." "I WISH THE STRANGER WHO HELPED ME OUT EARLIER HAS A DELICIOUS DINNER." "I WANT TO SUFFOCATE MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND WITH A HUG.") Feel free to include strong language if that expresses your sentiment better than something mild-mannered. The only rule is that you genuinely mean what you're saying.
*We may extend beyond 15 minutes if we're both available and so inclined. This is if I'm online for chatting in real time.
**If we're not chatting in real time, I will count 5 messages instead. 

"WHAT TOPICS ARE YOU OPEN TO?"
I'm open to having conversations about forgiveness/bitterness, loneliness, family stress, relationship/love stress, self-esteem, and general mental health.
In addition, while I do not have OCD, I would say I have first-hand experience on repeatedly doubting my being a moral person and would not judge someone who exhibits that symptom.
Conversation topics I'm NOT open to are spirituality/religion, domestic violence, and self harm. I do not mind them if they are only mentioned in passing and infrequent. But if they are your main concerns at the moment, I wish you find a listener who can actually accomodate you.

"WHAT ARE YOU LIKE AS A LISTENER?"
"WILL YOU GIVE ME ADVICE? WILL YOU CHEER ME UP?"
I'm NOT a toxic optimist, let that be clear. I also will not give any medical advice nor any unsolicited advice I'm unqualified to give. 
Instead, I can help you process things, remember important healing things, and occasionally reframe things.
I make it a point to remember what people share with me. 
And I may give you a bunch of comebacks to say to your inner demons, if you want them.

"DO YOU RESPOND IN REAL TIME?"
I currently cannot commit to live chats. I will, however, get back to your messages with thought-out responses. Please feel free to leave some!

"DO YOU ACCEPT LONG-TERM LISTENING?"
I'm open to it, but let's see how our first few exchanges go first!

"ARE YOU A SAFE SPACE?"
I do not discriminate based on spiritual and religious beliefs, sexual orientation, gender identity, race.
That being said, I am not an expert on every religion, spirituality, LGBTQ+ experience, or culture there is. I do not expect you to be my main source of education--especially because teaching me is not why you're on this app/website, after all; the convo shouldn't be about my ignorance--, but please do not hesitate to inform me when I get something wrong and please know I mean no offense. 

"TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOURSELF, PLEASE."
Sure. I don't think my person can be reduced to the following, but it may give you an idea of who I am.
If they raise any concerns, our first conversation can be you asking me questions. 
Age: Early to mid-20s.
Country: Philippines
SOGIE: Cis, questioning a-spec, questioning poly
Religion: Grew up Catholic (attended a co-ed parochial school from age 4 to 12), currently agnostic in belief but practically atheist (not antitheist), had a few Catholic theology classes in college
Lifestyle: Simple; was relatively well-off from birth til 12 years old, then started realizing I'm definitely not rich during college
Cats or dogs: I'll say both but just to be clear: cats are not evil. They have boundaries.
City or countryside: City. Nature is beautiful, but I like the buzz and social freedom of cities.
Coke or Pepsi: Sarsi.
Pizza with pineapple or without: With.--Wait, does it matter??? I'm getting sidetracked here.
 
"I'M STILL HESITANT TO SHARE SOMETHING."
Choosing who to share to is a reasonable concern. If you're still not sure, you can do the following:
A. Go to the "Feed" section of my profile on 7Cups.* Read through my posts and see if you feel more comfortable about me. 
B. Go to the "Questions Answered" section of my profile on 7Cups.* Read through my answers and see if you feel more comfortable about me. If you do not feel more comfortable, you can still find another listener who answered the same questions and who might have a better fit with you.
C. Send me a message to ask me, the listener, about myself (instead of jumping into sharing about yourself) to see if you're comfortable. You're in no way obligated to share anything with me during this convo. And if you find that you'd prefer a different listener, that's okay, too. All I'm asking is for respect.
*- Aug. 24, 2020 update: I cannot find my answers there. I will re-answer questions when I find the time. Please ignore these options for now.