Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
sympatheticFan9305
1 55 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceNovember 26, 2022
Bio
Recent forum posts
sympatheticFan9305 profile picture
What should I do?
35 & Over Community / by sympatheticFan9305
Last post
 November 29th, 2022
...See more Since it's the weekend, I woke up late today. When I woke up, I saw my professor post in the class chat that only 10 students had managed to pass the midterm. The names of my school friends are there, but I am unable to see my own name. Despite my recent anxiety due to my numerous illnesses and the fact that I am only in my second year of college, I know I did my best. I had major surgery a few months ago because due to an ovarian cyst that required the removal of the left fallopian tube and left ovary. Even though the surgery went well, I'm still nervous because I also have scoliosis, a kidney cyst, and GERD. I'm depressed because I'm so thin and can't sleep. I also don't want to live at my parents' house because they are constantly fighting because my father cheated on my mother, but my father is still the one who is mad, which I don't understand. But perhaps I'm just used to it. Despite all of this, I continued to attend university because I did not want to fall behind. I've had these very close friends since I was in high school. I tell them what has been going on with me recently and cried my heart out, but I only felt ignored. They just assure me that everything will be fine. Then I saw them laughing at each other's jokes, completely forgetting that I'm still not feeling well, so I just smiled at them. They've always been like that, but I'm still grateful to them. When I tried to hang out with them, they always said they were too busy, but I understand. Sometimes I just want to meet them because I feel like giving up everything. And when I had surgery, I didn't tell them because I felt like I was going to cry at any moment and maybe I'm afraid of being ignored again. I'm lonely and depressed. Despite my physical and mental health, I enrolled in my second year of university and began studying after the surgery. I met these new friends, and I try not to share my concerns with them. They always thought I was smart because I was an honor student in my first year, but I'm not. I enjoy studying on occasion, but not all of the time. Then comes the midterm exam, and I study hard every day while getting headaches. I believe I did well on the exam, but my professor stated that only 10 students passed the exam, and my name is not among them. I feel worthless. Everything has exhausted me. I am insecure and lonely. I can't share my concerns with my family because they, too, expect great things from me. I sometimes wonder why this is happening to me; I'm not a bad person. I'm afraid I'm not getting better from this pain.
Search more from @sympatheticFan9305
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
4 total badges
Hand Shake First Post Reaching out First Compassion
Report an issue