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tealwaters1998
2 96 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2025 Member sinceSeptember 25, 2025
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Is it all my fault?
Relationship Stress / by tealwaters1998
Last post
 September 29th, 2025
...See more I have been married for almost 16 years. We went to school together so we have actually known each other for about 35 years. Throughout our marriage he has done things that have made me very untrusting of him. Just to note a couple things he has had inappropriate conversations with other women. One woman he was stopping at her job on the way to his job in the mornings. I found texts messages where he was telling her he loved her & was only living with me so he could still see our son. When I found all this out I made him leave. He eneded up back home 2 days later just sitting in the driveway. I was stupid & let him come back in when our son saw him & cried for him. After that it was just little things that would happen like him drinking way too much & sometimes staying out all night. I won't say I haven't done anything. I did start talking to an ex-boyfriend during one of our fights. Nothing ever came of it but hubby found messages between us. So now he thinks I had sex with him but I did not. Several years have gone by & now things have taken a bad turn. Hubby started getting on tictok. For several months he was on his computer & tictoc all the time. The only time he would get off was to go to work. He would actually fall asleep in the computer chair most nights. I do now that he was on there with a group of people that started to help others that were being bullied. People would reach out to them asking for help. One night he had went to bed but left his phone open playing music. I went to shut of the music & me being me started looking through his phone. I found inappropriate messages between him & another woman from tictok. He had asked for pictures of her & one text she sent was a picture of her just out of the shower. He responded by saying she should be a good girl and send a picture without the towel. She never did. We got through this situation with a lot of new boundaries set in place. Right around this time he started riding the motorcycle a lot more & staying out all night. We have Life360 in our phones so I could see where he was at this time. One night I noticed he had left the Amvets & went to a house he had never been to before. He told me it was a friend of the friend he hangs out with all the time. After some digging I found out he had went to see a woman. He was there for 3 hours in the middle of the night alone with her. He claims she had asked him to look at paperwork from when her mom was in a nursing home & died. She thinks she was murdered & wanted his help to find out what happened. A friend of mine & I texted this woman for 3 days before she finally responded to say the same thing. She even sent me photos of all the paperwork she has & photos of bruises all over her moms legs when she died. This all happened about a month and a half ago. Things have not been going good. I started getting more paranoid that he was up to something all the time. I analyze every little thing he does. I am constantly checking his location. I feel like I really started to lose it. I would make snide remarks to him or towards him when we were out around other people. We got in an argument last week when he came home from work & said he was going out riding with his friend. I saw he was changing the seat on the bike that he uses when I go with him because it is more padded. He told me it was because of some LED lights he put on the bike & wanted to see what it looked like with that seat. Of course I didn't believe him so I made him take me with him. I did tell him several times that night & the next night I only went to fu*k up whatever plans he had with the woman I think he was going to see. 2 days later I ended up at a bar getting drunk. Got upset with him because he didn't try to get to where I was to make sure I got home safe. I stayed at my cousin's house that night. The next day when I got home he told me he thought we should separate. We ended up talking more over the next few days & decided to work on things & put some boundaries in place. A few nights later we were having sex & I noticed he had done some man scaping. I immediately started to accuse him of doing it because of another woman. We went to bed & after he fell asleep i decided to look through his phone. He had changed his password so I woke him up to confront him. It started a huge fight. He ended up saying I need help & we were back to being separated. There was a lot of crying on my end. I told him I do feel as if something is going on with me & I need to find a therapist to talk to. He agreed to try to work in things but still felt like he should move out for awhile. I told him I feel like him moving out is him abandoning me to deal with my issues on my own. For now he is still at home. We have done things together the last 2 days. I know he is to blame for some of our problems but have I blown things way out of proportion?
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