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thebetterblue
126 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2018 Member sinceDecember 1, 2018
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I am overwhelmed.
Anxiety Support / by thebetterblue
Last post
 December 4th, 2018
...See more This is the tl;dr version: The last few weeks have been hell. I graduated from graduate school earlier this year and moved back home, to a very difficult job market for my degree/career, to be closer to my parents. To move home, I had to move into my parents house. A few weeks later, they tell me they're separating. Which, at this point I just want them to be happy and they're, clearly, miserable, so it's whatever. I can deal. My mother packed her shit, took my brother (who is schizophrenic and homeless), put them all in a uhaul and moved to her sister's in another state. A few days later I start getting wordw phone calls and my aunt is telling me that I need to come and get my mom. Somethings wrong with hey memory, she can't remember moving!!! So the day after Thanksgiving, my best friend and I get on a plane, stay overnight, and drive my mom twelve hours back home. We take her to the emergency room. Turns out she's had three strokes over the past week. They admit her to the hospital for four days. Mind you, the day before I came to get my mom, my brother walls off. Says he's walking home and leaves. So I'm at the hospital taking to local law enforcement and social services, spending money we don't have on hotels and food and praying that he'll wait a week for me to come and get him. My mom is fine, they can't tell what caused it but she's stable do they release her. I spent the next few days running between my dad's house where I live, to my God mother and her best friends house where she is staying (she needs 24/7 supervision now.) It's three days after she's gotten out of the hospital and my life has completely stopped. I can't work, my appetite is off, I'm exhausted and I'm the central point for everything. It's this Saturday and I drive five hours to go pick my brother up (my aunt and uncle drove him seven hours to me) and turn around and drive back in the same day. While I'm driving through the mountains our hairstylist calls to say she's seen my mother looking list and bought her inside. She made a jailbreak. She's so incredibly upset about having hey freedom restricted. She refuses to believe that my dad didn't somehow cause the stroke, that she has enough money in the back to pay for a hotel and I'm not letting her because I'm testingt hey like a child. I'm at my wit's end. I can hold a lot of shit. I have an amazing support system. They've been wonderful and have been very encouraging and active. But some days I feel like I'm hitting my head against a wall. Every thing that can go won't does. I adjust, I try to process my emotions as they come, I lean on others for support and care but goddamn. Any wise words of encouragement. Or advise.
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