thecoldwindblows Member Profile

...See more I apologize if this sounds like I love myself and I'm self centered but I dunno, I'm just heart broken. I'm copying and pasting what I put in a message to someone so sorry if some bits are in the wrong tense! We started dating in January 2015, all was well, it was so good. It got to April. where I started to sense something was wrong. It got to me so much even though then, I was so happy. So then I just followed my instinct and I found out she cheated 4 times (at that point) from January to April/May. These 4 times were all on social media, but still it killed me. I loved her and was too attached to her to leave and I as a person is just not good at moving on and stuff. I didn't have anyone to talk to because not many people liked me and even thought they're the people who say "cheating is so so bad", etc, they still wouldn't talk to me about it because of the girl I was dating (she wasn't liked by many people either). So I was fucked, and then we fixed it, I forgave her (??why??) and we gradually got back to normal. Then about half way through may I found out about the 5th time, this time it was in real life when she cheated. Then around june it was the 6th time. Even after all of this I was still sorta attached to her because I loved her. It's honestly so horrible. With a bit of common sense, time and screenshots I later on found out that she had faked feelings for me for 4 months, from January to May, the whole time when she cheated on me she didn't even love me, even after she made promises and said so many other things, it was all fake. Now, i've sorta moved on, i dont go back to her everyday, the last time i talked to her was 5 days ago, which is good, it's getting better because i used to not go a day without going back, not necessarily because I loved her loads but simply because I was paranoid about what she was doing/saying as I was still attached. Now, i'm certain i dont love her. i hate her. i hate everything about her and I'm still getting angry and sad about it, No one will talk to me about because of the girl it's to do with, she doesn't care and most of all it's not getting better for me at all. It's getting worse if anything. I want it to stop, I want everything to stop, the pain, anger and paranoia. And also, if you're thinking she's sick its because she is, she isnt a nice person, she is horrible. I'm not saying this because she cheated (although I am) it's because she actually is. Manipulative, deceiving, lying, cruel, ignorant, selfish, she is compulsive. she doesn't care about anyone's feelings except her own once you get to know her and once she lets you see the real her. I just never saw this because it was disguised with the intense love I had for her. she acts sympathetic to what she did but I can see straight through her and I know she's lying all the time, because like I said she doesn't care about anyone's feelings as long as she gets what she wants. She'll fake love, lie, do anything to get what she wants. This is coming from me and I've seen what she's like in full colour. She fails to see what she's done is wrong. She doesn't straight up say "what I did isn't wrong" or anything, she just spams "sorry" and "i didn't mean it" which is futile when she's trying to apologise for doing something so cruel. Even though cheating can never be justified, you could agree that people make mistakes, maybe when they're drunk. But not 6 times, and she was completely sober the 6 times, she was just horny. She is literally the girlfriend from hell. If you're reading this, thank you so much for reading. This is just a brief description of her and what happened. I apologize if I got carried away! I'm desperate here.

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