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theoutlawedwoman
244 M Embraced 2
PathStep 44 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2022 Member sinceJuly 26, 2021
Bio

Had an account ages ago. I'm a college student going for graphic design. I'm on medication and have been doing so much better, but could just use someone to talk to.

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I feel like I'm not doing enough
Relationship Stress / by theoutlawedwoman
Last post
 July 27th, 2021
...See more My boyfriend and I have been together since the 6th grade. We lost our virginity in sophomore year of high school. We've moved in together and have done a lot of experimenting on toys and fetishes. But I always feel like I'm letting him down. I've never had an orgasm. We've tried lots, and I believe it may be a combination of my medication or something physically off about me. That doesn't bother me, but because of it I typically have a lower sex drive and am less enthusiastic about sex. He really enjoys it and always makes sure that I am enjoying it too, but sometimes I just feel like I'm an object. He doesn't mistreat me or only use me for sex. He is always super encouraging and supportive, he's helping me get through college and always makes time for me. But sometimes when he is being handsy I just feel like a piece of meat. I don't want to dossapoint him, he's done so much for me and I do love making him happy. I just wish I could enjoy it as much as he does. I'm much more submissive in the bedroom and enjoy him being in charge and telling/forcing me to do whatever he wants. Usually if I get feeling low when he is wanting me, I can push it aside and enjoy it as best as I can. Tonight I was going down on him, he'd ask me a question (relating to sex) and let me up to answer it. If I was "good" he had a wireless vibrator he would buzz. If I was "bad" he would hold my head down for a few seconds. I was enjoying it but he asked some like "have you looked up any more things to try?" And I have done it a lot. He is always wanting to try new things and I'm open to them. I've been wanting to find a girl for a threesome, I've gone on some apps to see if I could but I have such bad anxiety I could never ask someone if they were interested. He said he didn't like ym answes and "punished" me. For some reason this just really hit me and I actually started crying. I know he was disappointed but of course he stopped and we called it a night. I just feel like such crap. I shouldn't, but I can't stop it. Just wanted to get this off my chest. Any other girls who have had issues with reaching orgasm (especially any on antidepressants) do you have tips? I plan on talking to my doctor if I can but any other help would be appreciated. Thanks again.
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