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thespicymango
2 1,363 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts25 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2025 Member sinceOctober 6, 2023
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FML. Why do I do this? (Story time)
Relationship Stress / by thespicymango
Last post
 February 3rd, 2025
...See more I am a sensitive guy. I don't fall for people often, but when I do I am completely magnetised to them. A recent experience became a painful reminder of why I need to change this before it literally turns me into a stone cold a**hole.  So last year I left a long term relationship due to significant differences in life aspirations, and I felt good about it - like a new chapter was beginning. Shortly after, and without meaning to, I met a girl in America during a business trip (I'm from the UK but go there a lot). This girl and I didn't start with any intentions, in fact it was a one-night stand. That night led to a couple more meet ups (walks in the park, dinner in the city etc) before I had to go back home. When I left, I decided to stay in contact with her - she was super cute, nice to spend time with, her dog LOVED me, and we clearly vibed together - so we kept talking.  Some weeks later I get a text that she's PREGNANT (I had been her only sexual partner in 6 months, so definitely mine). That was a massive curveball, and we decided it was best to get an abortion. That was immensely hard on both of us, but more so her due to the fact she had to go through with it without anyone there to support (I 100% would have gone if I could get there soon enough).  That experience definitely brought us closer together, and I booked a flight to go back to her city. I may have lied and said it was for business, but really I just wanted to see her again.  Anyway this was 2 months after the abortion, and we met again a week ago. It was great, like nothing had changed, and I stayed over at her apartment - amazing. We planned to go on dates and had a whole list of things to do before I left.  Then she had to go home to her parents for the weekend, and I waited to see her again. She would text me things like "I miss you" and "When I get back I'm locking you in my apartment" (a joke, but cute flirting) When she got back she invited me over, tired from the drive. I didn't mind, I just wanted to be with her. She fell asleep cuddling me, and I really felt like I had something real here. It was what I had hoped for. The next thing I know, she wakes up and we start to watch a new TV series we were going to binge together that night - she then tells me she doesn't feel great, gets really distant, and starts ignoring me entirely by going on her phone and not engaging with me at all.  I got anxious and confused, and then (maybe stupidly) asked her "So, are you talking to anyone else rn?" She got a little weirded out by my question and said she's not sure what she wants and that we live far away blah blah blah...  I know what that means... The feeling in the air completely changes and it's awkward, so I'm sat there distraught and trying to be calm amidst this unfamiliar discomfort with a girl who until a few hours ago was all over me. She gets upset and says "This feels to awkward and I feel like I want to cry".  I said I was sorry and hugged her because I didn't mean to make her feel like that.  She then says a little while later that she'd like to be alone tonight.  I immediately packed my stuff and left because I was about ready to break down and didn't want to face this situation. A few days later, and after going back to her parents for a few days and asking me to leave her be, I reached out to try and rekindle things. She tells me she isn't ready for a relationship, her mental health and hormones are all over the place and that this wasn't actually anything. I confronted her on how she told me all the things about missing me, wanting me. telling me "This just feels right", etc she apologised, and now I'm here in her city alone wondering wtf I did wrong.  I can't stop crying and wishing it wasn't happening. I risked a lot to come here and it's blown up in my face.  have no one in this city, and still a lot of time until I leave, so I guess I should make the most of my solo adventure even though it's not what I wanted. Moral of the story: Don't be too caring, and don't take people's words as truth, because it'll be taken for granted, and you'll be left broken.
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