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thoughtfulHickory4572
1 110 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts14 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2022 Member sinceJanuary 30, 2022
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Tired of being tired
Depression Support / by thoughtfulHickory4572
Last post
 March 26th, 2022
...See more I feel like I’m never heard. I’m made to feel like I’m always wrong. I’m tired of feeling this way. I have loved ones who know what I’m dealing with right now, but when I try to express my feelings on certain things, I’m told I’m being selfish. Just something as simple as, that topic makes me sad at the moment, can we not talk about it? It turns in to giant fights. I have issues communicating my feelings and other have issues understanding the difference between my feelings and thoughts. Today, I had a huge fight with my wife. I told her the way she was talking to me was upsetting me. It made me feel a certain way. Now, this feeling wasn’t what I actually think about her, but the emotion I was overcome with made me feel like she was saying something I knew she’d never say. I tried to explain that I cannot control these feelings and emotions that overcome me, but she didn’t really understand. She just kept saying it’s not fair to her that she has to be cognizant of my depression but I don’t have to be cognizant of saying things that hurts her. I’m not viewing it like that. I was simply trying to communicate that I didn’t want to continue on with the subject we were discussing because it was giving me feelings of sadness. If I can’t express my feelings to her, who can I other than my therapist once a week? I understand that she feels like I’m making her out to be a bad guy, but that’s not my intention. And when I try to explain this she just says she feels like she’s being gaslit. I don’t know where to go from here. I’m tired of feeling like I’m wrong all of the time. I’m to the point I’m wondering why I’m even here anymore.
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Phone sex
Relationship Stress / by thoughtfulHickory4572
Last post
 February 6th, 2022
...See more I work away from the house a lot. Sometimes I’m gone more than a month at a time. I put in long hours and don’t have a lot of downtime other than sleeping and eating. My wife and I do talk everyday. The lack of intimacy does get to her. She likes to connect by having phone sex. I’m ok with it. We do it because she’s into it. However, I am not. Most yikes I’m so exhausted I’m just not in the mood. When I tell her this, it obviously upsets her and she almost takes it personally and it makes her feel not sexy and unwanted. When trying to have a conversation about it she said she just cannot help how it makes her feel and she wishes I would try a little harder. I don’t know where to go with it. I obviously want her to get what she needs, but also need to deal with the anxiety and stress of my work in my own way. Knowing these things upset her makes my day worse. But sex is usually the last thing I’m thinking about when I’m away at work and there’s not much I can do to change how I feel about that either. Our sex life is great when I’m home, but there seems to be this disconnect while I’m gone. I don’t want her feeling deprived or have a feeling she’s forcing me into things, but I also just don’t want to have phone sex on some days. It’s starting to cause a rift between us and I don’t know what to do.
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