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tidyDrum6460
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PathStep 14 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2025 Member sinceNovember 4, 2020
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Feel like giving up looking for good...
Relationship Stress / by tidyDrum6460
Last post
 February 2nd, 2022
...See more Basically, I'm mid to late 40s M, who has been single most my life... I was a late starter, as I tried to work my way up to get where I needed to be in life, so probably seriously looked into dating in my mid to late 20s. (And been playing catch up, with dating skills WRT my piers since then) Over the years, I've been on all the major dating sites, have had professional photo and profile reviews, been thoughtful in opening messages etc, but fate hasn't been on my side. (Since switching back to a site in November, about 2000 opening messages sent, and handful of replies, a couple of conversations that fizzled after round 3 or 4 etc) I just feel so tired of looking for someone now, as none of the effort has paid off .. I've had 3 dates, in the last 12 years since 2010, and no second dates!! The last date openly asked me "You're still single at (XX age), rather than divorced, is there something wrong with you??" Add Covid to the mix, forcing me to not even get the chance to meet people over the past couple of years, and I think it's game over for ever finding anyone now... I'm now thinking, if I get any thoughts about not wanting to be single, feeling incomplete, lonely, or finding someone, ii should repress them as hard as I can (visualise writing the feeling down on paper, crushing the paper in my hand, and throwing it away) Do I give up? Is repressing feelings generally a bad idea?
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GAD 17/21 ... Covid lockdown imprisonment + collateral damage
Anxiety Support / by tidyDrum6460
Last post
 February 19th, 2021
...See more I have never before Covid, had psychological issues before, but have had to seek the help of the local mental health support team, via my workplace councillor. I have had an assessment, and score 17/21 on the GAD scale, but now am in a 2...6 months waiting list for CBT. My issues are, that personal liberty is something that has always been important to me as a value, and I feel it's been stolen, and that I am serving a prison sentence, with lockdowns "house arrest", denial of social contact etc.... I literally feel I am imprisoned, and I have entrapped nightmares trashing my sleep, over half the nights. In addition to this, I have lost a freind to lockdown suicide, and attended the funeral, and have TWO more freinds on and off threatening the same! (I'm NOT considering it myself) Also, I have found out another freind has cancer, which would have a higher predicted survival rate, had his diagnosis and treatment not been delayed by Covid. At the same time I've had medical tests for an underlying condition, and had to kick the formal complaints service, to get MRI results after 14 weeks, when 1 week was promised. (I'll need surgery, but they want to postpone, until I become an emergency again, to rectify the underlying issue) I want my liberty back, and I'm close to the point of refusing to comply to lockdown to get it back by force!
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