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tidyNest
30,085 M Determined Treads
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Should you be open and honest with relative strangers? What is the cost?
Relationship Stress / by tidyNest
Last post
 August 24th, 2015
...See more I've embraced the principles of honesty, openness, and willingness. My *friend* seems deeply troubled by this, and I sort of feel he's right, but it brings up such a strong negative reaction to the point where I feel like throwing up. Can you please share your input on being open and honest with people? I understand bank account information and so on shouldn't be shared, and to be skeptical of people's intentions. But in general, I don't really see the harm in being open and honest...even if it is not generally done...i tend to like these principles when applied to my own life. Full convo below: Hopeful be cautious with the words you use. Occhiovivo • 1:19 PM What did I do now? 1:25 PM Dunno - same as don't talk to strangers - general truth Occhiovivo • 1:37 PM im gonna have to disagree with you fully. i respect you very much Occhio, but the benefits of being open-minded and honest..even with strangers far outweigh the risks. even if we are hurt, trust too soon, manipulated, and so on...we can learn and grow to be more effective next time. to continue to be closed...this is not a bad option. but little by little, to trust again, more wisely, is better for me. remember xavier rudd, nahko bear, havent heard you talk about them in a long in time 1:40 PM Hopeful it's too bad but I won't tell you how to live. The most basic universal fundamental truths of humanity fail your logic. - that's a real scary thought for me. I'll pray that you might one day figure out why - but that's not for me to do. The works is not friendly - choose your words wisely - people are not looking out for your interests, don't share with strangers - Hopeful you scare me Occhiovivo • 1:47 PM maybe the difference is that i dont believe my interests are so different from others' 1:49 PM Does logic not cause your examination of all the decisions and delusions you hold on too then an still which led you to see that you are failing to prove any points other than mistakes are yours forever? Occhiovivo • 59 mins i think i have had some set backs and some successes, just like everyone i remember in the hospital, they were talking to us about acting in our self-interest and the self-interest of others. For example, they said that when it comes time to pay rent---your interest is to pay $0 and your roommate pays the full amount, the roommate's interest is to pay 0$ and you pay the full amount, but I disagree. Your interest and the roommate's interest is the same---you both want to have a good relationship and not take advantage of others, so you both want to pay half. i dont see the distinction in each person's interests. its the same, isnt it? or is this example stupid? 51 mins Cool. Next time you see a child tell them an thier parents "talk to strangers, tell them things about you family- it's ok because it's safe ". Great argument cuz. It's noteworthy at least But you are beyond the ordinary human. Your rules transcend the common law - but pot is bad Occhiovivo • 48 mins what common law? what rules do I have? i am an ordinary human 47 mins That's why contracts exist. People don't give a fuck about your interests. Geez Hopeful I'm almost in tears at the thought if your ignorant Common law - DONT TALK TO STRANGERS AND FINT TELL THEM FAMILY SECREts - common universal ancient law Occhiovivo • 46 mins i would like better proof than the existence of contracts i dont see the harm in strangers knowing my secrets. will they use them to manipulate me? would you ever use someone's intimate secrets to manipulate them? i dont see the point of secrets at all to be honest i agree its generally stupid to blab secrets to random strangers....but harmful, i dont understand. 44 mins Hopeful there are no words to describe the horror in reading your words. You should plead your case to the United Nations - no secrets because They can't be used against you and even if they could who would harm you with them? And tell the courts why contracts are not necessary because people care for each other more than to hurt each other - so sorry man, I understand more tht you really have struggles in front if you No one is ever going to prove anything to you man. Some things are just true regardless of what you think. Occhiovivo • 33 mins But with that attitude If it is true, you should be able to prove it in words that I should understand 32 mins Cool Hopeful. Please DO NOT SPEAK OF ME OR my family to strangers. Occhiovivo • 31 mins What does the United Nations have to do with anything? I'm talking about me You Everyday ppl 30 mins If it's true, you would deny it. Occhiovivo • 30 mins You sound incredibly paranoid 30 mins Hopeful you are a seriously scary person. The world is not safe, people do not care about your safety and will take advantage and steal your name from you if they could Occhiovivo • 29 mins So can I refer to you as a nameless person or first name only? Or not at all? 29 mins Really? Is there a problem with identity theft? What about regular theft? Why about war? What about monetary theft? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I'm paranoid that you're in big trouble and haven't even a clue Occhiovivo • 28 mins what secret could i tell ANYONE in the world about me or you that would lead to identity theft? war? monetary theft? 27 mins Do NOT TALK ABOUT ME TO STRANGERS AND NOT TO DOCTORS AND BO TO NA AND NOT TO REHAB - Sorry man, if your position is this than I can't really relate to you - Occhiovivo • 27 mins your paranoia is just as concerning to me as my openness is to you i cant tell my doctor, my *nameless* friend OR family member thinks that i am foolish t not keep secrets from strangers. 26 mins Hopeful I'm going to cut you off. I'm sorry but you should listen more to your father and less to me I asked you several times Please leave me out of your recovery - Occhiovivo • 24 mins i KIND OF see your point---don't let your guard down completely...be mindful of what you share. obviously bank information and so on can only be used for bad reasons...identity theft happens, manipulation happens, and so on, but in general it washes out, manipulating and using people is not a sustainable strategy IMO. 24 mins If you need proof if why secrets are important to your safety and to those you love, read more history Hopeful please you are making me sick - sustainable? Theft and crime are more sustainable than humanity Occhiovivo • 23 mins Cut me off. I will try to respect your wishes even though I dont understand. I think you sound crazy paranoid...I cant mention ANYTHING about you--even if I leave out your name---to doctors, friends, etc. That is bizarre to me. Its not like Im going out and telling ppl where you live...and its not like i talk to ppl sick enough to care about it anyway i will try not to mention you by name, but your point is concerning and interesting to me, and i will share in my recovery 21 mins I'm so sorry for you and your family. Occhiovivo • 20 mins i like to think I am reasonable open-minded. can you be SPECIFIC and leave your emotions out of it for 5 minutes? that should be plenty. what kind of information would ANY person need to get from another to result in ANY crime? if it's not specific, im not responding anymore. cause this is just a shouting match your opinion really makes me feel sick 10 mins Just for shits and giggles here's one law you should be willing to accept: HIPPA- why is there even a law ? Ppl wouldn't reveal manipulate or use medical info against a patient... Who would do this? Well, there's a law that demonstrates that people do AND there are court cases all the time because people STILL ... And against helpless sick people. Soo very sorry for the impairment which makes you think people and crime aren't "sustainable" - very very sorry Occhiovivo • 5 mins fair enough should be somewhat guarded with employers....but ppl in general? like i if i spill my guts to a random stranger...about my life...and my feelings...why is it bad? even if they did know my whole identity, which I cant imagine they do if I am a random stranger. HIPPA and what not applies to employment. I want an example that is relatable to me in daily life. 2 mins Very sorry sir. Your requirement for proof is enough for me to understand your struggle. And I will pray - prayer, another ancient and universal truth - exists in humanity and has applications which can never be proven - so I'll just leave it there Occhiovivo • 1 min there are significant costs to not trusting others. im not willing to take on those costs, without a better explanation whatever occhio. your point is more disturbing to me than my point is to you It's terrifying. It's scary so much so that I'm going to stand down - belligerent ignorance is terrible Oh, right and the other common wisdom - trust everyone- I read that, hmm, NOWHERE- Trust everyone or risk injury. I think that's universally insane You are successful in your belief. No one can take that from you. The world in it's endlessness has been wrong for millennia - trust everyone, no one is dangerous, tell all everything - these are the tenents of life - :( I'll pray very hard for you Occhiovivo • 1 min give me an example what can ANYONE do to me based on the honest thoughts or feelings in my head that they couldnt do without it? Now No I won't. Good luck on your journey in the make believe world of yours. occhiovivo Now
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