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toomuchandnotthemood
236 M Embraced 2
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2018 Member sinceFebruary 27, 2018
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advice??
Anxiety Support / by toomuchandnotthemood
Last post
 March 24th, 2018
...See more Sorry in advanced, because this is going to be really long, but if anyone can help I would really appreciate it. I'm in a long distance relationship with a girl I met 3 years ago at a camp I've been going to for the past 3 years. We started dating officially this past summer, which has been amazing, because, like, I have a girlfriend? It's wild. But, we're both really busy, and neither of us are out to our parents, so our relationship is really on the dl, and relies mostly on texts and the occasional FaceTime. The thing is is that I'm mostly the one who initiates texts, which is partially because she's insanely busy, and also because she tends to forget to text back a lot. And usually, I don't mind, but I guess I'm just in a Mood where everything makes me second guess myself right now, and I have a lot of anxiety, because I can't help but feel like she doesn't really care. But when we find the time to call each other, it's a little awkward at first because calls are fairly short and we need to adjust (or maybe I just think it's awkward and it really isn't, who knows) but I don't really feel that nervous, and I can tell that she really does like me and want to talk with me. We've kind of talked about it before, but I'm kind of useless and I hate confrontation, so I haven't really seriously talked about it with her. I knew that if I talked with her, she'd probably apologize and reassure me that she does care (and I know she does), it's moreso less what she's doing than the impact it has on me, which is that I Freak Out Constantly.There's nothing that either of us can really do, since she's busy and my parents don't like me calling people a lot, so there's not a lot of opportunity to talk with each other as much as I'd like, so there isn't any way I can really think to get around this. It's been like, maybe a week since we last talked one on one, but I haven't really worked up the nerve to text her first, since I always do, and I feel like it'll just be another short conversation and then it'll peter off again... We're both in a group chat with our other close friends from camp, and though she still doesn't reply as frequently, it's more than when we text one on one, and I don't really know how that makes me feel. I'm probably not having the healthiest reaction to what's happening, but I don't think it's anyone's fault moreso that I am just Having A Lot Of Insecurity right now, and this just happens to be adding to it, or coming up as a result. I'm not really sure I'm in the best state of mind to be in a committed relationship like this, but I also don't want to lose her. I had a maybe panic attack a couple days ago partially because of all this, and I'm not really sure what to do about it... In time I'm sure I'll be fine with this for now, I just have to adjust to not talking with her constantly anymore, and once summer comes, I'll see her much more often so it won't really be an issue. I guess I'm just a bit of a wreck right now, sorry, I kinda needed that off my chest
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