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versatileWriter2325
1,157 M Little Steps 3
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2020 Member sinceNovember 30, 2019
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How to pick up the pieces of a shattered life
Relationship Stress / by versatileWriter2325
Last post
 December 30th, 2019
...See more My story goes way back to 2008 when I met a guy who I would later marry in 2012. We had two beautiful boys but the marriage started falling apart the moment we had kids. For 4 years I begged, cried, scream, took as to therapy, trying everything to make my marriage work. But it was getting worse and worse. He was taking me for granted, not even registering my existence. That hurt like a knife. No love, no kindness, no emotion, no support. We moved to his country half way across the world and I was cut off from my family and friends and no one to turn to. This year I decided it was finally time to end it. And as I did, I met someone else online. What was I looking for as my marriage ended? Everything that was lacking in it - closes, connection, affectionat, intimacy. And I mer this man who offered me all of the above, a little bit too soon I thought. Still shaken, raw and insecure after a long cold marriage, I played hot and called, pushed him away and pulled him close. Not realising or not wanting to admit to myself that I have fallen for him. Every nice word he said, every nice thing he did just went straight to my heart making me happy and alive again. I was looking forward to every minute I could spend with him. But yet, I didn't show it to him. Once I faced my emotions, I started feeling insecure, not good enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not exciting enough. My insecurity turned into irrational behaviour he called me up on.
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