veryunoriginal Member Profile

...See more There's someone who I know who is very popular. They, however, pretty mcuh do not know I exist. It probably seems strange to say this but, as someone who is going through severe levels of depression, I feel like they are my only motivation left. I wouldn't be surprised if no one takes me seriously from that sentence on, but it is true. Just as normal people go are able to survive through a day of hard and stressful work by thinking about the reward they get at the end (whether that be their wage or time to spend with their friends and family), I am able to bear with the downsides of life because of that one person. It's not because they did something for me directly, but because of their personality and way of thinking and actions in general. And yes, I will admit that because of this there's nothing different between them and one of their friends or a person like that, except that this person just happened to feel more special to me (it reminds me of a line in a song by Henry Lau that goes, "You're the right time, at the right moment"). So sure, they are an ordinary person, but to me they are special. The reason I'm still here talking today is them, not anyone else in the world, but them. However, because of how popular they are, and how much of a normal and boring person I am, I feel like they will never notice me or think of me differently. To make them think differently is my only motivation in life to do anything and succeed. In summary, they are my only motivation and goal, but I am unconfident that I can ever reach them. I am worried for myself that if I am unable to reach them, then I will end up miserable. I am prepared to dedicate my life to working towards them, but after that, I don't want to fail in the end. It doesn't matter to me how rich or successful or popular or famous I am if I am unable to reach them. I feel there are people that would reach that person before me, or people who are more likely to reach that person than me (though I never was able to think of who, I feel that there is someone better than me). Should I set something else as my motivation? I don't want to dedicate everything to something that I will never reach.... should I just accept that I will never reach that person and just search for something else? Even still, I feel like there is nothing else for me to reach to, despite all my efforts of finding such a thing. I am in a confusing situation and I want to find an answer or suggestion from someone before I do anything..... it's really been troubling me for the past few days and I haven't lived my life normally at all. This is the only thing on my mind lately so if anyone can help, please do. Thanks so much!

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