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violetskiesxx
151 M Embraced 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceJanuary 27, 2019
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should i reach out to my ex about my sa experience
Trauma Support / by violetskiesxx
Last post
 March 19th, 2021
...See more obvious tw here i was in an almost three year relationship in high school. about halfway through, i told my then bf that he could come over after an exam but i was super insistent i didn’t want to hook up tho we’d be home alone. he ended up touching me anyways after i kept laughing uncomfortably and saying no and the things he did that day still bother me. the problem is i never told him how wrong it was. he was upset with himself when i told him it bothered me, and i ended up talking him through it bc he said he wasn’t having a good day when it happened. i stayed with him for a year after. we’ve been broken up for almost two years now and he’s in a relationship, so i don’t want to seem toxic or manipulate by reaching out. but everyday it bothers me that i let him do that and other things that i now realize we’re coercion and never told him it wasn’t okay. i know if i ask my friends they will say no bc they dislike him, so i just want an unbiased opinion since i want to move on from this but everyday i see myself as someone who let him walk all over me and never call him out.
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Moving on with constan reminders
Relationship Stress / by violetskiesxx
Last post
 July 4th, 2020
...See more A little background: my relationship with my ex was very toxic. He was very sexually cohersive, gaslit me into feeling like everything was my fault, had a lot of girl friends but got jealous of my guy friends, and was unaffectionate/ didnt care about me near the end. I stayed with him becahse I helped him with some serious mental health issues, but ended it after he ditched me the night a relative died to do drugs. In terms of feelings, Im over him; I dont miss him or want him back and Ive been so much happier since Ive left. What Im not over is the emotional trauma and the guilt from him being sexually persuasive. What makes it so hard is we have a lot of mutual friends from high school, and I know they think so highly of him and admire him. I feel so frustrated and like all of the trauma he left me with is building inside of me because theyll continue to think he is a good person and I can never tell him about the things hes done to me and how they have affected me. Its gotten worst since he started dating a girl he was friends with while we were together; I feel stupid for being treated so badly by him when he treats her great and I can never tell her about his true colours. Im beginning to wonder if its just me who sees him in this negative light and maybe its my fault that I do so, wondering how to move on from this and be able to connect with old friends without feeling triggered and finally be free of wanted to tell everyone about what he did.
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