warmheartedStrawberries7924 Member Profile

...See more I m(27) having been dating a f(26) for the past 8 months. Mind you this long distance relationship. Maybe see each other once a month. The first 3 months of the relationship we were constantly communicating and she would be more talkative than me which I enjoyed. Around the 3 month mark I noticed a shift in her. She went from super talkative to barely putting effort in to talking. Almost seemed like a chore for her to talk. Around that time she had been fired from her job and some other things had been going on to cause her stress but since then she still has been quiet. Furthermore I discovered that she had been sending explicit pictures to random guys as well as me from the 3 month mark all the way until the 5 month mark when I found the pictures. We talked about that situation and I thought we had it resolved until the 7 month mark I found more pictures she was sending to other guys and not even sending to me. So after the last time finding pictures I told her that I wanted her to delete any guy off her phone that she felt like would want to send things to her or she would be wanting to send pictures to. So she got upset with me saying I wasn’t letting her talk to anyone by making her delete those guys, when she has numerous other friends to talk to that are going to respect our relationship. Also from these encounters I have overstepped on boundaries by reaching out to her friends and family seeking advice on what to do in the situation. I thought I was doing the right thing reaching out to the people closest to her to help figuring things out but she didn’t like that I did that. Even though the words that I was telling her were not getting understood. From these encounters I have started doing some self reflecting and looking into why I did those things as well as discovering attachment issues that her and I have. I found out that I have anxious attachment and have been doing better about understanding my triggers and she has avoidant attachment and I have been learning to adjust to not trigger her. She also started going to therapy this week to help with things going on because there is a lot more going on in her life that she hasn’t expressed to me but I can tell are bothering her.

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