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warriorlxv32
37 M Embraced
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts0 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2016 Member sinceJuly 15, 2014
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Mostly just my life..
Trauma Support / by warriorlxv32
Last post
 July 15th, 2014
...See more A lot of this is mostly because i look for someone who can possibly relate to me and tell me it will get better and be a role model.. at age 7, dad was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Age 8, i moved to one of my final houses as an army brat. The first night we stayed, my stepdad who was in the army, started sexually abusing me. It slowly gradually got worse through out the family. I watched him abuse my real mom for so long and he became an alcoholic. His rages were untolerable. Other times, he would get her drunk and when she passed out, come and sexually abuse me. For 2 years it went on. During those two years, my closest uncle was killed in a car accident. That was the start of my depression. I was sad before then when my dad was diagnosed with M.S. but i got depressed after my uncle died. Shortly after, my dad gained custody over me and my brother. His disease slowly graduated to more and more. Hes currently on bed rest and can barely walk or even come out of his room without getting sick. 6 years after the sexual abuse, i told my dad and stepmom about it. Everyone suspected it had happened. We filed everything we could but nothing happened to him because it had been so long. All we got was a two year restraining order. Last year, i attempted suicide and was put in a mental hospital for a few weeks. My dad became abusive after losing so much of his comprehension. He wanted me to tell him how i felt and i told him i just felt like id be better off dead. Ever since then, im scared to tell anyone of my parents how i feel. I forgot to mention that through all of this, i was going through self harm. January 14, 2014 was the last day i cut. I honestly still struggle with it. Since i stopped cutting, ive started to develop more self hate inside. Ive started this terrible eating disorder. I either dont eat or ill binge. I struggle with that the most now. But over all of this, ive overcame most of it. I still struggle with the aftermath of the sexual abuse but its better than it was. So my purpose is, does anyone relate to this..? Or have advice about the eating disorder..? /:
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