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whassupjake
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2018 Member sinceJuly 9, 2018
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My wife has PTSD and I need advice/help.
Trauma Support / by whassupjake
Last post
 July 10th, 2018
...See more My wife experienced PTSD after finding herself in a relationship with a genuine psychopath. He manipulated her into having an affair about 2 years ago now. When I found out, it ended up rocking our world. She essentially felt so much shame and embarrassment that she cut off a lot of our usual friends. She has three close girlfriends now. She has completely closed off all contact between both of our sets of parents. She has been in therapy for about a year now working with rapid eye movement to help her heal. I feel like it has made an improvement. But there is still a LONG way to go. She is triggered almost weekly by something. This causes her to have a rapid and violent mood swing into almost a completely different person. Before, these were usually directed at outside people and I was able to help listen and validate her feelings and get her to a calm place again emotionally. Now, it has started to turn internal to me. The littlest things are blown out of proportion. For example, I was asking her where she would like to eat out for lunch with our kids and when she said a restaurant I asked if she had any other ideas. She then accused me of putting the burden of the entire decision on her. I smiled and said that I wasn't intending for her to make that decision alone. She became immediately offended and claimed I was mocking her. I can not convince her that I was in no way mocking her or making fun of her. Last night when we tried to talk about these issues, she got to a point where she said that she had no other answers or comments for the issues we were talking about. She got up to walk into the other room. I got up and followed her and continued to ask my questions, and told her that I really wanted her to come up with an answer and that this was important to me. She said there was nothing to talk about. I continued following her while she walked in and out of two other rooms and said that there were still things that I wanted to talk about. She immediately became scared and threatened and literally got in the car and drove away, and didn't come back till 4am. She now says that I have traumatized her and she feels threatened by me and wants a seperation. I am literally confused. I can understand that someone can feel threatened, but if there isn't something that is actually threatening....is it legitimate? Meaning, I never yelled at her, I never insulted her, I never even touched her, I never made a motion like I would hit or hurt her. I simply walked after her to try and continue the conversation after she said she didn't want to talk about it. Any help, advice, encouragement would be great.
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