whiskeynrain Member Profile

...See more I am really struggling with my marriage. My husband is an alcoholic and cocaine addict. He didn’t use either when we met and got married. Over the years he began drinking and becoming verbally aggressive and some physical aggression towards me. We separated for almost a year on and off because I wanted him to change. During that time he stopped going to work, started drinking excessively and using cocaine. He eventually asked me to come home(I didn’t know how bad his drinking was and didn’t know about the cocaine). The drinking was obvious but he openly admitted the cocaine use, and I kept finding it in the garage or in his pockets doing laundry. He luckily hasn’t been drinking whiskey anymore so the aggression isn’t as bad but he wakes up and almost immediately starts drinking beer and will drink until he falls asleep, IF he goes to sleep. I rarely see him eat. He works 7 12s out of town every other week so when he’s gone for work he doesn’t really drink but comes home and goes crazy. He will leave and not come home, not tell me where he is, won’t answer my phone calls or texts, and won’t come home for 24-48 hours and I know he’s out bar hopping or blowing money at the casino. Which gambling (casino and sports betting) has gotten very bad. We haven’t been able to pay bills because of it and he makes good money. He recently was in a truck with his friend (who was driving drunk) and his friend rolled his truck into an embankment and he called me at 1:30am one morning recently begging me to find them and help them and he works out of town 3 hours away. The lying, hiding, drug and alcohol use, verbal abuse(especially name calling) has destroyed me. I find it hard to function or have motivation. My PTSD and OCD have become unbearable, when I was hardly affected before due to therapy and self growth/control. I’ve lost all of it, I can’t sleep. I have nightmares when I do. I cater to him, do EVERYTHING I can. I meal prep for him before he goes to work for a week, I do all of the house work, take care of the kids, do the shopping, male all the food, make sure the bills get paid (unless he gambles all the money away). All he does is go to work, come home and party. I feel like I can’t put my foot down because every time I’ve tried he doesn’t take me serious. He always has to be in control. I’m lost at what to do from here, and I work at a level 1 psych hospital. I can help people out of crisis but I can’t help myself.

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