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willingSugar9815
3,577 M Seeking Light 2
PathStep 72 Compassion hearts282 Forum posts103 Forum upvotes135 Current upvotes135 Age GroupTeen Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceSeptember 23, 2022
Recent forum posts
Read with caution ig
Eating Disorder Support / by willingSugar9815
Last post
 October 20th, 2023
...See more I hate feeling this way, I hate my body, I hate feelings, I hate me, I hate life, I just want a break from it all. It’s a cycle of purging, shing, gaining hope, said hope getting destroyed and i’m honestly starting to lose hope on getting clean, i don’t really see the point Nearly everyday this week i’ve purged something and started self harming again the last 2 days and i’ve tried to stop but it’s to much, I even been video calling a friend who knows about the sh and we video called meaning everyday this week either to talk or i needed a distraction as i fell *** or the other day it was because I was seriously considering selfharming and needed something to keep me accountable. I hate this, the fact i feel myself slipping back into my old ways the lack of emotion and care, the feeling of slipping back into my head, not being in control and i know it will only get worse on monday when I go back to school. It’s so much easier to skip meals, purge, sh and i always force myself to get 10 000 steeps a day and i have a dr appointment this month where i get weighed and every time i’ve had that it’s just made everything worse and I know the closer that day comes the worst it’s going to get.
Guess we did it again
Self-Harm Recovery / by willingSugar9815
Last post
 October 4th, 2023
...See more 152 days down the drain, today i sh 3 times in 2 different forms. why do I always do this I give myself hope then take it away from myself. I don’t think i’m going to bother stopping if I really want to sh I might as well do it, and I can use forms that don’t leave scars. Safe: With family
Im sorry
Eating Disorder Support / by willingSugar9815
Last post
 September 27th, 2023
...See more I feel like crap, just purged and have a feeling im probably going to do it again. I have been fighting the urges for almost 4 hours. I also have to eat lunch (my mum made it for me last night when she was mking hers for work) and my parents especially my mum wants me to go on the tredmill which I then use it in a harmful way because my thoughts are killing me on rhe inside. Sorry, pretty sure no one even bothered reading rhis anyways. I just want it to stop, all i want to do is purge right now even though i havent reallh eaten anything. Im not sure if im meant to say im safe or not but if so, safe i guess, might do my jobs (unfortunatly inclueds tredmill) then write.
Advice needed
Eating Disorder Support / by willingSugar9815
Last post
 September 27th, 2023
...See more Anyone have any advice on handling purging. I’m honestly struggling with not walking off and doing it. So, please anything will be welcomed and appreciated.
Words of support would be appreciated
Eating Disorder Support / by willingSugar9815
Last post
 September 26th, 2023
...See more I'm so close to crying right now, the urge to purge is *** strong. Words of support and motivation would be appreciated.
Help
Anxiety Support / by willingSugar9815
Last post
 September 25th, 2023
...See more I don’t know what to do my heart feels like it’s racing, i can’t slow my breathing and i’m overwhelmed, god i’m going crazy. Anyone. have an idea in what to do? Dont worry, i can handles it, i think lol, sorry barely thinking
Need some advice *may be triggering i’m not sure
Anxiety Support / by willingSugar9815
Last post
 September 27th, 2023
...See more I don’t know what’s been happening i’ve been getting frequently overwhelmed where my heart races, i struggle to speak or move, it feel slightly restricted to breathe and i feel like everyone’s staring. I will also feel numb, my body will go between being cold to warm, my stomach will ache making me feel sick, ect. Does anyone may have an ideas on why i feel this way or anything that may help it not get so bad as it’s getting really bad a school where i honestly will just sit there staring into space just trying to remember to hide it and make sure i’m at least giving basic response to my friends so they don’t realise that i’m trying to remember and even my breathing and stop the sick feeling. Hope i’m not bothering anyone
Needed to get something of my chest
Eating Disorder Support / by willingSugar9815
Last post
 August 27th, 2023
...See more May be triggering - kind of just needed to get it off my chest but honestly i feel like crap, sorry that it’s so long One of my friends went to far today with banter over messages, she was annoyed at one of our ex friends and wanted me and a few of my other friends to forgive her so our ex friend will leave her and my other friends from a different group along but over messages she told me to ‘end it! twice (if you get what i mean, i’m not sure how much i can say without it getting flashed) and pretty much told me I was fat. This friend doesn’t talk to me as often as we use to due to me also hanging out with other people, this being said they still would have known that i’m insecure about my weight and that comment shouldn’t have said even if she didn’t know, we are teenage girls and most if not all worry about their appearance to some extent. I was already struggling and just managed to get myself to eat another small snack after my friends encouraged me to try, when that message was sent. My thoughts and insecurities had just dimmed slightly but because of those messages they have came back and i’m honestly struggling, her words keep going through my head and even when i try to reason with myself, distract myself or forget them i can’t help but think there try. i just feel crap and now i have to pretend i’m ok and that i wasn’t hurt by her comments tomorrow as it’s just her humor and logic she didn’t mean anything by it but still it hurt and it’s make everything so much worse.
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