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wonderwoman1308
417 M Embraced 3
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2018 Member sinceSeptember 1, 2016
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Film enthusiast.

Recent forum posts
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Something rather minimal and silly happened to me but I can
General Support / by wonderwoman1308
Last post
 April 7th, 2018
...See more I had a drama exam yesterday, during which I completely forgot my line, I had never forgetting it during rehearsals at all, I dont know why I forgot it but I did. I ended up saying sorry during which my mind had gone so blank that I didnt even realise I had said sorry, so I had come out of character and couldnt think of anyway to recover from forgetting my lines. I stumbled over what I could remember and went from there. This has completed scarred me, I dont think I will ever be able to get on stage again in fear that this will happen again, it was so embarrassing and it has really made my anxiety go through the roof. I want to be an actress but how can I when I do things like this? I could have easily improved but I came out of character, and I didnt even realise it.
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I don't know what to do?
Anxiety Support / by wonderwoman1308
Last post
 September 22nd, 2016
...See more OK so I went to the doctors for my anxiety a while back and they recommended CBT, so a few months after that I had an initial assesment where a lady just took some details and asked me questions about myself, my anxiety, family etc. She said that I would have a nice young woman named Natalie that I would do CBT with which made me relieved because I wasn't comfortable with having a male therapist. BTW we couldn't ask who we wanted to have. A few weeks later I had an appointment scheduled, except it wasn't with Natalie, it was with a man. I forced myself to go and told myself that it will help and that maybe I'll have Natalie and this was just a one off. For starters, the receptionist told me I had the wrong time, when it said on the letter 1pm, but she insisted it was 2pm even though I had proof on my letter, I couldn't argue back or defend myself because I was too scared, so anyway I went away and came back an hour later. I got to my appointment and he asked the same things the lady did, except I just didn't feel as comfortable as I did with the lady, it's nothing personal but I couldn't see myself going through with this therapist. I don't know if he was supposed to ask these questions but because I'm not a white person he asked if I was born here, if my mum was born here and if my dad was born here, all 3 of us were. I'm sure that it was needed but it felt a little weird. Anyway I got the session over and done with and felt worse than I did before but I was scehduled with another session in 2 weeks, I eventually had to cancel because it clashed with an important college class (and the fact I didn't really want to see him again.) I text him to let him know I had to cancel and then he rang me multiple times but because of my social anxiety I'm unable to answer or make calls and also I was in a class so I ignored the calls and turned my phone off. He then text me saying how I needed to contact him to make a new appointment, I feel so rude but I couldn't force myself to text back, I know it probably sounds stupid but I really didn't to talk to him ever again. Today I got a letter saying that if I do not contact him by next week my CBT will be stopped because it will no longer be needed. I'm unsure what to do, I don't even know if I need CBT anymore, I mean if I can't force myself to make an appointment do I really need one? I can't tell my parents because they will shout at me and say I'm stupid, I really want help because I have a problem, I don't have any friends at college due to my social anxiety making it hard for me to make friends but I really don't think I will be able to tell this man anything so nothing will progress, is there any online CBT available? Thank you for reading, I appreciate it
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