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zephyr72
2,955 M Hopeful Heart 7
PathStep 83 Compassion hearts115 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2019 Member sinceNovember 26, 2018
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Help Please!
Trauma Support / by zephyr72
Last post
 December 27th, 2018
...See more Hi, I hope I'm in the right place for this. I'm wondering if anyone can tell me if my situation is emotionally abusive or not. I think my mother is narcissistic. She meets pretty much all of the requirements I've found online. Of course, she would never, ever admit to that or be willing to get help, so I can't be completely certain. She kicked out my dad a while ago, but when he is here, he does what mom says. He doesn't get to have a say in anything without mom shooting it down and scoffing at it. Mom hates it when he tries to talk to us alone. Bear in mind, in my opinion, he should not have been kicked out. He's a great guy and has never been abusive toward me or any of my siblings. Mom kicked him out when she was in one of her bad moods. Mom's moods change at the drop of a hat. She goes from loving and supportive (on the outside at least) to insulting and cruel, and her attitude dominates the whole environment of my family. She never physically abuses, though. It's always emotional. She is extremely controlling and manipulative. She's threatened several times to take my bedroom door off my hinges, though she's never done it. She loves to isolate me (I'm kind of the not favorite child) for silly reasons. If I say something in a tone that isn't completely pleasant, she usually freaks out and punishes me. She's taken away all forms of communication from me (obviously I'm still making that work but it's very difficult and I'm always in "fight" mode, ready to hide). I'm homeschooled (senior in high school), and she doesn't let me have any privileges or leave the house for anything unless it's with her permission, which isn't very often. When I was younger I got chronic migraines frequently. They've only recently stopped due to a medication. Mom was sometimes very loving and caring when I got these, but she was often also frustrated with me or upset. One night when I was probably seven or eight, I remember I had a migraine and had to stay home from something the rest of the family went to. Mom stayed home with me. When I say I had a migraine, I mean a full on insane headache, nausea, vomiting, shaking, etc. Nasty stuff. At the time I had no medication to relieve it. Mom wasn't in the best mood that night, so after everyone left, she came up to my room, turned on the light (ouch) and told me to get out of bed and clean my room because it looked like a pigstye. I was in excrutiating pain, but I did it. She stood there and watched me for a while before going downstairs. I collapsed after she left and laid on the floor crying. I remember I had to sneeze, so I sat up and did. Just then she popped around the corner of my door to make sure I was still cleaning. I remember being so, so grateful for that sneeze, because if I hadn't had to sneeze I would have been in trouble for laying down. On the outside, my family is picture-perfect. We put on an incredible mask. But on the inside, mom is usually screaming at someone for blinking too much or spilling a cup of water. Is this normal? Am I overreacting? Sorry for the long post. Not sure if anyone will have time to read it through, but if you do, I would really really appreciate your thoughts. Thanks! Katie
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