1. Focus on behaviors and not on your interpretations

The perception of threat that often creates the conflict escalation cycle usually stems from how we view what other people do and say. This view often comes from our interpretation of a behavior more than it does from the behavior itself.

For example, when someone speaks loudly and directly, we may interpret their behaviors to indicate that they are angry. Maybe they are. Maybe they are not. All we really know is that they spoke loudly and directly.

As you communicate with other people, focus on and speak to their behaviors more than you speak to your interpretation of their behaviors.